


Be My Crazy Titan

by hidansbabe530



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mikasa Bashing, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Older Adopted Sibling Hange, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, its fucked up, just trust me on that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-05-29 16:39:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 43,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15077324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidansbabe530/pseuds/hidansbabe530
Summary: Alice is Hange's adopted little sister with a dream to see the ocean. What happens when she meets Eren Yeager, a recruit who holds the same dream? Rated E for Non-Con/Rape elements





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Name: Alice Zoe  
> Family: Hange Zoe (older sibling)  
> Looks: Short light brown hair, brown eyes with a golden glow, fair skin, about 5'4'' (162.5 cm). Curvy.  
> Personality: A little crazy, determined, a slight mother hen, but she knows when to allow her 'babies' to fly on their own. May have picked up a potty mouth from one of her siblings friends.  
> Abilities: Well skilled in the 3D Maneuvering Gear, very smart, but she has a tendency to slack off if what she's doing isn't of high level of importance (also known as paying attention in the classroom) but she can focus in when her attention is demanded.  
> Past: Alice was adopted as an orphan at a very young age after a traumatic event that ended in the brutal murder of her parents. She heard stories of an older sibling in the Survey Corps. Alice wanted to see outside the walls, and the only way to do that was to defeat the Titans. She was going to reach this goal, if it was the last thing she did. She also may or may not have adopted her siblings friends as her own siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS!!! MENTIONS/DETAILS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT ON A YOUNG CHILD AS WELL A MENTIONS/DETAILED VIOLENCE AND GORE AS WELL AS MENTIONED RAPE/NON-CON!!!! It's fucked up, seriously.

**Alice's POV**

I stood with the new cadets, ready to begin training so that I could become a soldier and go into the Survey Corps like my older sibling. Keith Shadis, the instructor for the 104th Southern Trainee Squad, made his rounds, picking out those that didn't seem to really understand what it meant to be a soldier, or seemed easy to be picked on, I wasn't quite sure. He stood in front of me and I snapped into a salute.

"What's your name recruit."

"Alice Zoe, sir!" I said. I hid my irritation well.

"And what does a wimp like you think you will be able to do for the military?" My eyes narrowed on their own.

"More than half the other idiots here."

"Do you think you're smarter than the other recruits." I smirked.

"I don't think it. I know it. I didn't sit with my sibling for hours looking over their Titan research for nothing, sir. I like to believe that I know a little more about the enemy then those here that have yet to encounter one."

"And who is this sibling, Zoe..." He trailed off for a minute before sighing and rubbing his temples. I smiled.

"Squad Leader Hange Zoe of the Survey Corps."

"So you think that because you have family in the military, you will be able to as well."

"No sir. It's stupid to think that. Family won't always be able to help me if I have three Titans on my ass and they're somewhere else. You have to rely on those in your squad, just as they need to be able to rely on you. If I'm worried about my family when going against a Titan, I can make errors that risk the lives of my comrades. There's time to think, worry, and mourn after a battle." He seemed at least a little impressed before moving on.

In the mess hall later, everyone was surrounding this one table, talking to a recruit that came from Shiganshina. I may or may not have been in that crowd, closest to the individual speaking, absorbing everything. The recruit's name was Eren Yeager. And I, of course, couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Wish I was there." Everyone turned to me.

"Why the hell would you wish that? Shouldn't you want to be away from the Titans?" One of the other recruits asked. I shook my head.

"No, if I was there, I would've been able to figure a few things out about their mannerisms, find out the Abnormal ratio. It's important information to find out how many Abnormal Titans there are."

"Why do you care so much about something like that?" The same recruit asked.

"If we had that information, the Survey Corps could think of new strategies to take down the Titans. It could bring down casualty rates, improve survival rate, and bring a way to get rid of them for good." I said.

"You want to be in the Survey Corps?" Eren asked. I smiled as I nodded.

"Of course I do. I want to... well... my dream's taboo to speak of, but I want to see the world outside the walls." Something in Eren's eyes sparkled as he nodded.

"Why would you want to do something like that?" I turned to the one who had spoken. Jean Kirstein, if my memory served me right.

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand. You want to go into the military police." I sneered. "Fucking useless." He stood.

"You want to repeat that?" He growled. I stepped up to him, hands clasped behind my back as I leaned forward. I hated looking up to this prick.

"I said you're useless. You want to be in the military police to be in the highest wall and as far from the Titans as possible. You're looking to be in the safest branch. Marco at least has a plan. He wants to do something USEFUL." I didn't even bat an eye.

"And? At least I'm not going to be some stupid Titan fodder. Everyone in the Survey Corps is doomed to die. There's no point in going into a dead end branch. If anything's useless, it's the Survey Corps." I growled as I grabbed the collar of Jean's shirt and pulled him down to my level before hitting him square in the jaw.

"If you EVER insult the Survey Corps and it's members again, I will dangle you from Wall Rose, and you can get up and personal with every Titan there. So do yourself a favor, and watch your damn tongue." I released him and turned, a wide smile on my face. "Sorry, what were we talking about before?" I approached Eren as he gave me an approving nod.

"Do you really want to see outside the walls?" A blond recruit, Armin Arlert, asked. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah! The only thing I have from my birth parents are these book. One talks about the outside world. I can't help but dream about it. I mean, imagine water that-"

"Stretches for miles!" Armin and Eren said, smiling lightly. I smiled as well, grabbing their hands.

"You've read it too?!"

"Probably not the same one, but probably something like that." Armin said. I smiled wider. I was the happiest recruit in the room then. I had found two people that shared my dream, and at least one that wanted to join the same branch as I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again.... TRIGGER WARNINGS!!! MENTIONS/DETAILS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT ON A YOUNG CHILD AS WELL A MENTIONS/DETAILED VIOLENCE AND GORE AS WELL AS MENTIONED RAPE/NON-CON!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Alice's POV

I sat in the girl's barracks, reading through some material Hange allowed me to have to think of other ways to fight the Titans, save the gas used in the 3D maneuvering gear, techniques that could be used to keep from dulling the blades quickly, etc, when three girls came in.

One was out cold, the one that had been told to run for hours on end and was told to skip dinner after eating a potato that she took from the kitchen. She had brown hair, styled similarly to Hange's, an up high ponytail, and if I remember, her eyes were brown, maybe more of a hazel in color. The one carrying her had dark brown hair in a low ponytail, freckles covering her face, and light brown eyes. The third girl was shorter than both, actually shorter than most of the girls here, and had mid back length blond hair and the biggest, bluest eyes I've seen on a female.

"Where should we put her?" The freckled girl asked. There were only three bunks available. The one by me and two next to each other, since each bunk bed had mats for two people on each. I shrugged as I got down from my bunk, which was a top, and I approached them.

"I'll bunk with her." I said, taking the girl from the taller girl and bring her to my, now our, bunk.

"Hey, what's your name?" A girl asked. She had black hair going past her shoulder a few centimeters and steel eyes that reminded me of one of my self adopted brother's.

"Alice Zoe, yours?" I asked while getting my new bunk mate situated.

"Mikasa Ackerman." I only faltered for a second before she continued talking. "Did you mean what you said early to my brother? About wanting to see outside the walls?" She asked. I looked down to her, since she was just standing on the floor. I nodded once, firmly.

"I did. As I had said earlier, all I had left from my birth parents is a book that spoke of life before the walls." I smiled as I looked up at the ceiling. "Really imagine it. Water as far as the eye can see, infused with salt that can not be removed from it. If the world outside the walls is like that, I want to see it." I looked back down to Mikasa. "I've had this dream since before I can remember." One of the other girls spoke.

"You said your birth parents. Is there a reason you don't stay with them?" My body froze a memories flashed behind my eyes. The smell of blood and smoke, the sound of flesh burning, bones breaking, screams of pain and terror... I quickly shook my head before more unpleasant images came to light in my mind.

"They died when I was young." Was all I said. It was the truth, but not all of it. No one else needed to know all of it. I can count on one hand the people who know, and the people in this barracks will not be on that list if I can help it.

"Let's get to sleep girls." I say while putting the papers I had been looking at away. "Shadis will have our asses if we aren't at one hundred percent tomorrow for our 3D Maneuvering Gear balance tests." I put the papers under my pillow before blowing out the candle closest to my bunk and laying down. I hoped for a dreamless sleep, but of course, I didn't get that.

In the morning I woke before the rest of the girls and decided to get cleaned up. I headed to the communal showers and cleaned myself, though with some of the memories that had resurfaced yesterday, I may have scrubbed my skin slightly harder than needed. After I was cleaned, dried, and dressed, I headed back to the barracks, passing a few recruits on the way.

"Hey!"A voice called. I looked up to see my bunk mate. "Hey, thanks for bunking with me! My name's Sasha Blouse!" I smiled as we shook hands.

"Alice Zoe. You headed to the showers?" I asked. Sasha nodded. I leaned forward.

"The one closest to the far wall, the one fourth to the left from the center, and the fifth from the door seem to be the only ones that actually produce hot water. I suggest using those three before the others find this out." Sasha smiled and nodded.

"Thanks Alice!" She hugged me before bolting to the showers. I smiled as I continued to the mess hall. Eren and Armin were already in there and had called me over. I smiled as I sat next to Armin, since Mikasa had taken the only spot next to Eren.

"Good morning everyone! Did you sleep well?" I asked. Everyone nodded, the boys a little sluggishly.

"The showers may have been cold, but didn't do much to wake us." Armin said as he ate some of his breakfast, which was porridge, like everyone else's. I turned to Mikasa with a small smile.

"Have you found out which ones in the girl's showers actually give hot water?" I whispered. When she shook her head no I smiled. "I'll tell you later, when the others can't hear." I said. She nodded.

"No fair! You have showers that give hot water?" Eren asked. I shushed him before nodding.

"Yes. And if you get up early enough in the morning, you can find out which ones in the boy's showers do." I said.

"How?" Armin asked. I smiled.

"Well, you could do it the old fashion way, but that'd risk wasting water. What you can do instead is feel the warm water knob, and the pipes the water goes through. Turn the hot water knob enough that water is pushed through, but doesn't come through the head. If the pipe isn't warm within two minutes, it's a bust." I said with a smile.

"Wow, how did you find that out?" Armin asked. I giggled.

"Before coming here, I sometimes went to visit my sibling in the Survey Corps headquarters. One of the soldiers were complaining about how they never got the shower with hot water, because their was only one. My sibling Hange and I went through to see if we could find out how without wasting the water. That's what we found. But if the pipes are covered, it's harder to tell. Luckily, at least in the girl's showers, all the pipes are bare. Sometimes, you can feel the ones on the adjacent wall and feel the heat, then you just follow the pipe to the shower head."

"You've been in the Survey Corps headquarters before?" Eren asked, eyes wide and sparkling. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, when they came back from expeditions outside the walls, I'd go to visit my sibling. We did research together, and sometimes I was allowed to watch them train. It was awesome!" I squealed. Eren leaned over the table a little more.

"You got to see them train? What was it like? What did they do?" He asked. I smiled.

"Well, first they ate EVERYTHING on their plate." I said, stealing a spoonful of his porridge with a wicked smile. He gaped like a fish, looking between his bowl and me. "I'll tell you what they actually did when we have time that isn't surrounded around a meal." I said with a smile. Mikasa seemed a little annoyed, but I didn't care why. Then Sasha came and sat down at the table with us.

"Hey Alice!" She said, putting an arm around my shoulders. I smiled to her.

"Hey Sasha! Did you listen to my advice?" I asked. She smiled wider than she was and nodded.

"Yup! And it was great! Everyone else looked like they were freezing." She giggled a little before shoveling food in her mouth. Eren had returned to eating, guarding his bowl from me. I laughed.

"Oh come on Eren. I'm not going to do that again. You can relax." I said. He did relax, eyeing me slightly.

"You sure?" I smiled lightly.

"Yeah. Sorry, this early in training I shouldn't be pulling stunts like that. We need all the energy we can get. If you want, I'll let you get pay back. Go ahead." I said, motioning to my bowl. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and slammed my elbow down. Sasha yelped as her hand was pinned to the table by my elbow.

"Ow!" She whined.

"I still plan on eating it." I said, already predicting the type of person she was. Food on the mind all the time, and will take it at any chance she gets. Not too surprised though.

"B-But you-" Sasha stuttered out.

"I had taken a spoonful of Eren's. I'm only returning the favor." I said. Eren sighed, stealing a spoonful of my food and eating it before continuing on his own. I smiled as I ate more of mine, before giving what I couldn't finish to Sasha. I'm sure she would've started to kiss my feet if she wasn't still stuffing her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alice's POV**

I did fine with my balance. Mikasa just kinda hung there while Sasha sort of sat and swung a bit like she wasn't really trying. Me... well... I may or may not have been kinda just leaning back, pulling a notepad from my waistband and writing little notes on how the training was commenced, seeing if there was anything that could make the training better. I also wrote down the design of the contraptions used for this specific test. Writing what could possibly go wrong with it and how to improve it. If one of these things hurt one of my new friends or any of the other recruits, I'd be sharing some words.

"Zoe! What do you think you're doing?" I looked up to see Shadis glaring at me.

"What? I'm balanced, I passed. I'm just writing a few things down. Like how we could potentially improve this test or the gear used for it, sir." I said, moving into a salute at the end.

"You should be focusing on your balance." He grit out. I crossed my arms and stood still, swaying only as the wires holding me did. I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"With all do respect, sir, I was focused. I just happened to think of ways to improve upon it." Shadis just rolled his eyes as he continued down the line. I looked down and saw Eren hanging helplessly upside-down. He looked almost heart broken. Shadis began to rip him a new one and I frowned. If Eren couldn't get past this, he'd have no place in the military.

Later that night, Eren was asking almost everyone if they knew any tricks on how to pass the test and help him out. I told him that I'd help him train with Mikasa and Armin, and though they said it wasn't necessary, I still joined them, writing down everything I saw. Eren tripped before the rig got him high enough off the ground and he hit his head, and steam came from the wound. My eyes widened as I quickly wrote that information down on a separate page. It could have just been dust kicked up from the ground, because humans didn't do that naturally. But if it was something else, I wanted to record this.

I returned to my bunk after we decided to call it a day all the girls were giggling a bit.

"Did you see how hard that Yeager kid failed?" One said.

"Yeah, he's all talk. If he can't even use the gear, he's useless as a soldier." I glared as I put my papers away, jumping down from my bunk and approaching the giggling girls, a fake smile on my face.

"Yeah I know right?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest once I was standing close enough to their little circle. "I mean, it's not like he's been training his ass off and swallowing his pride to ask anyone he can to help him out. It's not like he has drive and determination, or that his reason for pretty much breathing is on the line right now or anything." They stopped giggling and looked at me. My fake smile fell. "Oh wait, he is, it is, and last time I checked, this talk was shit the military police did. And last I checked, only the top ten from the academy can get in it." I looked among the girls.

"Let's see." I started. "You stumbled at least three times before getting it, and you were still having trouble holding your balance." I said pointing to one of them. "You were barely standing straight and were jerky the entire time." I said pointing to another. "And you managed to get everything twisted before you even made it off the ground." I put my hands on my hips, looking at the others. "Need I continue? No? That's what I thought. Don't talk shit if you can't handle it." And I turned, watching Mikasa and Sasha come in.

"Hey Alice!" Sasha said as she came up to me, bread in one hand and a potato in the other. "What are you girls talking about?" I smiled.

"Oh nothing. They were talking shit and I knocked them down a few pegs." I said as I climbed back into our bunk.

"You really think you're all that Zoe?" One of the girls asked from the floor. I looked to her.

"Need I remind you that I had perfect balance and even went on to WRITING while the test was still happening? Because I remember being able to write, look around, salute, and STILL stay balanced. And as I had said earlier, you had tangled your shit up before you even left the ground."

"You think you're better than us?" Another said. I smiled wide.

"As I had told Shadis before, I don't think it, I know it. I'm on par with only... four or five of you, but the rest of you?" I snickered. "Oh please. There's no competition." One of them stood and walked over.

"And what makes you think you're so grand?" I smiled as I held up one of the papers I had been reading.

"I've been looking over unclassified documents the Survey Corps allowed me to have my last visit there a few months ago, to see if I can help their top Titan Researcher with their finding, see if they missed anything initially. Last I checked, no rookie could be considered on par with the smartest person in the Survey Corps behind the Commander." I said. I saw a look pass through one of the girls eyes and I turned to her, a murderous look on my face that I picked up from one of Hange's friends.

"And if you fucking touch them, you will find all of your belongs shredded, strewn about the training grounds, and most likely down your damn throat. These documents may hold common knowledge, but they're important to our fight. If you touch any of them without the Survey Corps Commander's permission, you can get arrested. So go ahead and risk it bitch. I will promise you a slow death." The barrak went quiet as I put the papers away again. The next morning Sasha caught up with me on the way to breakfast and she looked at me a little worried.

"You okay Alice?" She asked. I nodded, sighing. I had been tossing and turning last night, not from the nightmares, but because their words against Eren echoed in my head.

"Sorry. They had shit talked Eren, for not being able to pass the balance test the first time, and I got so angry." I said, clenching my fists. "And now I'm worried they're going to be immature shits and hide those documents on me. I think I'm really coming to a breakthrough too." She put a hand on my shoulder and smiled.

"They can't be that bad, right?" I shrugged as we made it into the mess hall and sat with Eren. He looked pumped, ready for the test today that would make or break his career as a soldier. So to the rigging everyone went, surrounding it to watch Eren's last attempt. If he didn't pass it this time, he'd be sent to the fields. I held my breath as I watched him get raised in the air. He stayed balanced for a few moments, more than he had previous, before falling. He begged for another chance, when Shadis told him to switch gear with another recruit.

I watched with baited breath as he was raised once more. And he stayed balanced, almost perfectly. He was ecstatic, yelling to the sky in victory before looking out to the crowd, a triumphant look on his face, a look in his eye that said he didn't need pity or anyone to hold his hand. I turned to Mikasa, wondering how much she may have accidently been holding him back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Alice's POV**

Later that night, Eren and Jean got into an argument in the mess hall. I sighed. That was nothing new, so I left. When I entered the girls barracks, what I found made me freeze, anger beginning to boil in my stomach. Mikasa walked up behind me, looking over my shoulder to see inside when I wouldn't budge.

"What happened?" She asked, stepping around me to look at the papers all over the floor. I growled, stepping in to begin picking up. Those immature brats, though I may be one at times too, threw my documents and notes all over the place. Sasha, a girl named Annie, and the two that had brought Sasha in the first night, Ymir and Christa, came in and saw the mess.

"Who'd you piss off?" Ymir asked as her and Christa began to help me pick up.

"You remember those girl who were talking shit about Eren not being able to pass the balance test?"

"You've got to be shitting me." Ymir said, slightly irritated. "That's a low blow. They did this because you stood up for him?" I nodded.

"They looker dumber now than they did then since it was all because of an equipment error." Annie said as she picked some of the papers up.

"What were they saying about Eren?" Mikasa asked, obviously pissed.

"Pretty much that he was useless and full of shit." I growled out. "So I put them in their place by pointing out why they had no room to talk."

"I can't believe they actually did this." Sasha said as she collected what the others had gathered and handed them to me. "If I would've known, I would've come in during our break earlier and hid them under my pillow." She said. I smiled.

"It's fine Sasha, what's done is done." I turned to the other girls that had helped me pick up. "And thanks for helping me pick up everyone." Ymir smiled as she put her arm around Christa's shoulders.

"No problem. And if you want, I'll even help you kick their asses." I smiled back at her.

"Thanks Ymir, but that won't be necessary." I climbed into my bunk and, after checking that I had everything and they hadn't done anything else to any of my other belongings, put them back under my pillow.

"Hey Alice." Mikasa walked over to me, a pair of scissors in hand. "Could you help me cut my hair? It's going to start getting in the way of training and I don't like having it up." I smiled as I grabbed the scissors.

"Sure thing. How about just above the shoulders?" She nodded as we sat down and I got to work. As soon as I finished, the girls that had most likely strewn my shit walked in, giggling.

"Hey Alice, did you like the surprise we left you?" One of them snickered. I didn't even turn as I threw the scissors and they got stuck in the wood of one of the beds right by her face. The barrak became silent.

"A letter has already been sent to the Commander of the Survey Corps, relaying all of your actions, as well as my notes and the papers you had messed with. Shadis should get a letter soon on what to do with you." I finally turned to them. "And I left you all gifts under your pillows as well. I do hope you enjoy them." I said with a sadistic smile. "And if you touch my shit again, I can promise that the next 'gift' won't be as nice." I turned back to Mikasa, brushing any loose pieces from her hair.

"And there we go!" I said as I pulled back, inspecting my work before walking around her, smiling wide. "Damn, looks better than I thought!" I said with a smile. "What do you think Christa?" The short blond came over to look and she smiled wide, bringing her hands to either side of her face.

"Oh my, Alice. She looks beautiful. You would make a great hairdresser!" She said. I smiled.

"Thanks. But I think I'd rather cut through Titans than cut hair." I said. Mikasa smiled as she stood off the stool. At that moment, one of the girls screamed.

"You put a dead rat under our pillows!" She said, pointing at me in shock. I frowned.

"A dead rat?" I walked over and looked under her pillow, a smile coming to my face. "Oh, he's not dead." I poked right above it's tail and it moved. "He was asleep." And she screamed even louder. Shadis came in then.

"What is with all the screaming?" He said, eyes narrowed.

"Zoe put rats under our pillows!" One of the others girls said, pointing at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh please. They usually live under the bunks. And if they were cold, it only makes sense that they'd search for warmth. I mean, there's probably one under my pillow too."

"I don't believe you." The girl who had initially screamed said. I shrugged.

"Hey Sasha, can you look under my pillow?" She did and squeaked, falling out of the bunk because she was surprised.

"There's a rat." Sasha said, looking to me and nodding. "And it looks kinda comfy actually. I don't really wanna disturb it." She added. Shadis glared at the girls that had accused me.

"We'll deal with them tomorrow. Move them for now and go the fuck to sleep." Shadis ordered, shutting the door. I turned to the girls and smiled.

"You think you can frame me for anything? Bitches please, I can always find a way to seem innocent. And this," I said, picking up the fake rat that I had placed under my own pillow. "Is just the beginning for you." And Sasha and I climbed in our bunk to go to sleep.

The next day, I happily sat to eat breakfast with Eren, Armin, Mikasa, and Sasha when one of the girls came up to me. I think her name was Jennae, the one that found the first rat, who tangled up her shit.

"It was you, wasn't it." She said angrily. I cocked an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. She sneered.

"Don't play dumb with me. You fucking did it, didn't you." I put my hands up between us.

"I seriously have no damn clue what you're talking about." I said. Jennae grabbed my collar. Before she spoke, Eren grabbed her wrist.

"Alice obviously didn't do whatever you're accusing her of. Back off." Eren growled. Jennae sneered.

"She put a fucking live rat under my pillow, I wouldn't put this past her."

"What the fuck did I do?" I asked. Jennae blushed when Shadis slammed the mess hall door open.

"Who the fuck thought it'd be funny to hang their underwear from the flagpole." I froze as I stared.

"No fucking way." I hurried to one of the windows and low and behold, someone's, Jennae's in this case, underwear was flying right under the flag. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Something funny Zoe?" Shadis said. I shook my head.

"No, sir. I just never thought someone here would do that." I covered my head and continued giggling.

"Like hell." Jennae said. "You did it." She said, pointing her finger at me accusingly. I shook my head.

"Never would've had the chance. I slept in and ended up heading to the showers with Sasha and Mikasa. After that we headed here."

"Lovegood, you'd find it in your best interest not to place blame when you have no proof. Now get your undergarments off the flag pole. You'll be running laps for that stunt." Jennae began to protest, but quickly went to get her clothes to begin her punishment. Shadis shut the door and Ymir burst out laughing.

"I didn't expect that." Ymir said. I walked over to her, smiling.

"You hung her panties from the pole?" I asked. Ymir smirked.

"Not just that. There's a few other things too. I overheard her saying she was going to cut holes in all your pants. Decided to look out for you this time around." I smiled, giving her a high five.

"Thanks for having my back." I said before returning to my table.

"Why is she messing with you?" Armin asked.

"She was talking badly about Eren and Alice stood up to her and her friends." Sasha said when her mouth wasn't completely full.

"They also threw her documents from the Survey Corps all over the barracks." Mikasa added.

"What?!" Eren said, standing. "Why the hell would people be like that?"

"Over privileged pampered prisses who think it'll be easy to be a soldier since everything's been easy before the incident three years ago." I said. "They don't think it could happen again, and they've never seen a Titan before, so they don't actually know how bad they are. And since someone didn't agree with them, they felt attacked and needed to defend themselves by messing with what's important to me. But the most important thing to me isn't something they can actually touch." I stood.

"What's most important to you?" Armin asked. I smiled.

"My dream and my drive." I said before picking up my dishes and heading to prepare for our next training exercise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Alice's POV**

For the next few weeks, Ymir and I would randomly pull a small prank on Jennae and her friends. We stopped once Shadis got a letter back from the Survey Corps. Their punishment was to be given by Shadis, depending on how severe he thought it was. They ended up on shower cleaning duty for the rest of their time as trainees.

We had moved on to more endurance training, as well as hand to hand combat. I was 'paired' with Annie, we fought once, and decided it wasn't worth it because we were actually pretty evenly matched, and she didn't find a point in it. So while she walked around the training fields, I watched Sasha and Connie fuck around. It was pretty amusing, even after they got sassed by Shadis.

I turned to see how Eren was doing, see if he wanted to spar with me a bit, just in time to see Annie flip him so that he was on his back with his legs over his head. He was flexible, and I couldn't help but giggle at the thought that if he really wanted to, he'd probably be able to please himself. I paused after that thought and giggled more. Hange's more vulgar friend apparently rubbed off on me a bit.

I then saw Annie do the same thing to Reiner and I couldn't help but laugh even harder. He landed the same way Eren did, and though he wasn't a flexable, the same thought came into my head.

Though from then on, Annie would spar with Eren, and I just spared with Reiner. And it was actually fun. Then, a few nights later, Eren and Jean got into a fight and Eren did some weird maneuver to redirect Jean's punch. I had seen Annie do that, which must mean that Annie taught him a few things. I quickly wrote this information down. Shadis came in after the fight to ask what all the noise was for, and Mikasa blamed Sasha for farting, causing the entire mess hall to burst out laughing after Shadis left.

"Sorry you were the target to save our asses." I said to Sasha, who was whining to Mikasa. I turned to Eren and smiled. "I'm proud of you Eren." The table quieted as he turned to me and a light pink dusted his cheeks, mainly in his cheek bone area.

"What for?" He asked.

"For not actually hitting dumbass. That was some fancy moves you picked up. Spar with me next time?" I asked. Eren chuckled nervously.

"It wasn't much. And you should ask Annie. I learned it from her."

"I have already, and I want to see how different it is between her and you. Even if you learn something directly from the source, there are subtle differences." I said. Eren agreed so the next sparring day, Eren and I partnered up.

We got into our stances and I advanced first. When I thrusted the wooden practice knife forward, Eren began his redirect maneuver, but I managed to move just fast enough to evade it and got the wooden knife to his left thigh.

"You need to work on that." I said. "I could read your movements to easily." I stood. "You need to make your opponent constantly wondering your next move, on their toes and riled up. If you can shake them up enough." I launched forward and held the fake blade to Eren's throat. "You'll be able to be more effective in immobilizing or taking down your attacker or target." I handed Eren the practice blade. "Come at me." Eren nodded and used some more of the things he got from Annie.

When Eren went in for the hypothetical kill, I ducked, kicked his legs out from under him, and once he was down, stepped on the wrist holding the knife with enough pressure for his hand to let, go, then picked up the knife. Instead of heading straight for the 'kill', which I knew his other arm would be able to block, I went down and poked his thigh, while he looked at me with a questioning look, I poked his stomach with it, before moving away from him and standing.

"Aren't you going to-" And then I was straddling his chest with the tip of the blade resting on the bridge of his nose.

"See." I said, smiling. "Keep them always guessing. But also." I dropped the tip down to Eren's throat, face going serious. "Don't give them a minute to think. As soon as they have time to think, you might as well be done for." I stood and helped Eren up. "Now you try again. Try mixing what Annie taught you and what I just taught you together, along with your own experiences in fighting." Eren nodded and I handed him the practice blade again. After flipping it around and readjusting his grip a few times, Eren came at me.

His footwork was pretty good, never standing still in one spot for too long. He'd begin something in either his own method or Annie's then switch to the other so fast I couldn't keep up. In the end, Eren had me on my back with the tip of the blade to my neck.

"How was that?" He panted. He had used a lot of energy. I smiled, panting as well.

"Good. But next time, try not to use so much energy. It'd suck if right after a fight with a human you had to go up against a Titan and you're too tired to do so." I said. Eren nodded and helped me up. "Besides that though, anyone who goes up against you should be down right terrified." Eren grinned wide.

"Thanks Alice." I smiled back and we decided to take the rest of the time off and watched the others train. Eren listened while I told him how others could improve what they were doing, or telling Eren how he could take something someone else did and add it to his own, personal style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but everytime I see the clip where Annie owns Eren's and Reiner's ass, I can't help but be like 'damn, they're flexible, and it's RIGHT THERE. They could totally suck it'... I have a really bad dirty mind. It's a pleasant curse!


	6. Chapter 6

**Alice's POV**

Two years in the training camp seemed to pass quickly. Sasha and I became really close, and sometimes I'd help her sneak food from the kitchen. I also became pretty close with Eren, Armin, and Sasha's 'friend' Connie. They were friends now, but they'd TOTALLY get together before they found a faction, I was sure of it.

I wasn't in the top ten of our trainee squad, but that was on purpose. I didn't want the Military Police to even CONSIDER me to be part of it. So while Eren, Mikasa, Connie, and Sasha were named in the top ten, I stood by Armin. Once the ceremony was over, there was a little party. The southern 104th would be in Trost, some of us working on the wall, for a few days, then we'd decide on where we wanted to go. Eren stormed out of the room after one of the recruits questioned his decision to join the Survey Corps. I wanted to follow, but I didn't.

Over the last few years, Mikasa and I butt heads. She'd sass Eren for being reckless, or crowd him if he so much as coughed. And I told her to let him breath and step back many a time. She was too clingy and worried way too much. She also had a problem with the fact that I didn't hold back when I sparred with him. We got on each other's nerves a lot when it came to that. When Eren was actually, seriously hurt, like that time he ran into a tree because Reiner had challenged him to a race, I was there, checking him before Mikasa got there. Sassing them both for being stupidly reckless. But as soon as I knew Eren was fine, I backed the fuck off. But Mikasa? I think it was a month until she let him out of her sight when using the 3D maneuvering gear. That had caused a fight in the barracks. We actually had many verbal encounters in the barracks, nothing getting physical. I wasn't really looking forward to being in the same military branch as her, but I knew a few other people who would MAKE her calm her tits.

The next day we watched the Survey Corps leave to try and claim back Wall Maria. I smiled as I saw Hange sitting on their horse, excited to get out there and DO something. As they were squealing, one of the other soldiers, Corporal Levi, one of Hange's friends and one of my self proclaimed adopted brothers, spoke with them. I wished I could hear what. I missed them. I would've yelled out to Hange, but decided against it. Levi's glare scared me sometimes. And I didn't want to disappoint Commander Erwin, my other self proclaimed older brother, for distracting his soldiers. So I stayed silent.

Later that morning, instead of being on wall duty, I was helping move some supplies from one Garrison Barrack to another, when the air pressure seemed to change and the sky seemed to change gold as a strike of lightning seemed to hit right outside the wall. I turned and saw the head of a Titan peaking over the wall. My eyes widened. The Colossal Titan. The one that caused the breach in Wall Maria.

Soon after it's appearance, the Titan disappeared, a hole made in the wall. The 104th southern squad was gathered by the Garrison and told that we were going to have our first real encounter with Titans. And while almost everyone else freaked out, I was excited. So damn excited. I was in the middle group. I overhead a conversation between Eren and Mikasa. Mikasa was fretting over Eren again, and was trying to stay by his side. Eren got her off his back and walked off. When I turned the corner and saw her standing there, I clicked my tongue.

"You've got to be shitting me." I said. Her eyes snapped to me, narrowed.

"What do you want, Zoe?" She bit out. I motioned over to Eren's retreating figure.

"That. You SERIOUSLY think that you can CHOOSE where you go because you want to protect him? Sorry to reburst your bubble, Ackerman, but that's not how the military works. If you baby him too much and don't let him learn to take care of himself, Eren WILL die." Mikasa's face scrunched up with anger.

"How dare you say such a thing?!"

"I dare because you're not doing him any favors by forcing him to hold your damn hand in everything!" I snapped. "We've been over this a thousand fucking times! You can't always protect Eren! And he doesn't always fucking need it! If you're going to drop everything to protect him, you're going to either get him, yourself, or your comrades killed! The military doesn't need someone who's weak." I bit out. "So if you think, for one FUCKING second, that you'll be able to do whatever the fuck you want to protect Eren, I've got news for you. It's not fucking happening. You're a soldier, as much as it fucking hurts, your DUTY, your ORDERS, and your MISSION, come before your family. And the quicker you realize that, the easier this will all be, and the better you'll feel when you see them again, knowing that you all got your job done." I pushed my index finger in her chest. "If I EVER find out that you left your position to chase after Eren, I will make sure you won't be able to again." It was obvious that I had struck several chords with Mikasa. Her face was red and she was seething. "Now go do your job. Eren will never forgive you if you don't." And I walked away. Sasha was just around the corner, shock on her face.

"Did you really just say that before a mission?" She asked. I shrugged.

"She'll be towards the back protecting the people who are trying to evacuate. If we do our job right, she won't have many Titans to deal with. And someone needed to say it. Now let's go." I smiled wide. "I wanna kill some fucking Titans!" I grabbed her hand and ran towards our group with a wide smile on my face.

That smile died quickly enough. Those who were left of the 104th southern trainee squad ended up in a group of roof tops. Armin's entire group was killed, including Eren. I sat next to him as he freaked out, rubbing his back soothingly.

"He saved you for a reason." I said. "Don't you dare give up on me Armin." I whispered. "We need to live on. We need to see the ocean for him. If we give up and die now, his sacrifice will have been in vain." Did it help him any? I like to think it did a little bit. It probably didn't, but I can dream. We headed to the warehouse that was holding the gas supply. And I got there with most of the others, Mikasa, Connie, and Armin had yet to show up. I was worried about Connie and Armin. Mikasa on the other hand? I wouldn't be surprised if she just gave the fuck up and fell into the jaws of a Titan.

After a few minutes of keeping Jean from beating the shit out of those who were stationed here locking everyone out because of the Titans downstairs, Armin, Mikasa, and Connie showed up, with a Titan. A Titan, might I add, that was beating the SHIT out of the other Titans. It was amazing and I just wanted to stay and write down all of the observations and theories that were just swirling around my head, but first, we needed to get to the gas supply. So I got into the lift down with the others and headed down with one of the many military grade rifles we had, shooting at the Titans while Mikasa, Annie, Sasha, Connie, Reiner, and Jean dealt with them.

As soon as we had refilled our gas tanks, we went to see how the Titan that seemed to be on our side was doing. He wasn't doing too well. In fact. after one last effort to kill an abnormal, it collapsed. And through the steam, what happens? Eren FUCKING Yeager pulls himself from the TITAN'S NAPE! Mikasa went down and freaked the fuck out, then brought him up and Armin was just so fucking releaved. I stared before I quickly started writing down my observations and everything that I may or may not have forced from Armin.

The Garrison, of course, found out and soon came to deal with Eren. While he, Mikasa, and Armin stayed back, the rest of us headed inside the wall. Jean, Connie, and I looked at each other with knowing glances while everyone else wondered what the fuck was going on. Soon, we were called by the Garrison Commander, Dot Pixis, and told that Eren was going to be helping us with his Titan powers to move a boulder that was previously impossible to move to block the hole created by the Colossal Titan.

Mikasa, of course, ended up going with the team that would be escorting Eren to the boulder. The rest of us were to clear a path so that Eren could get there safely. Well, it wasn't a pretty sight for the longest time. The 'Fail Flare' went up. I wasn't all that happy, but I sure as hell wasn't disappointed. Whatever went wrong, wasn't in Eren's control, and I would NOT fault him for it.

However, a few minutes later, the green flare went off. Whatever had gone wrong was obviously fixed, and the boulder was being moved. I saw it and got into action. The closest Titans to me happened to be closest to Eren, and I was very happy by that fact. Why? Titan shifter. Duh.

And I helped Armin take Eren out of the Titan once the boulder was placed. However, Armin, Eren, Mikasa, and I had two Titans corner us, and I was out of gas again. But someone came from over the wall and dealt with them. I smiled as soon as they came by, recognizing the way they used the 3D maneuvering gear. Only one person could use the equipment like that! Corporal Levi!

As he stood on the back of one of the Titans he had just killed, he looked back to us.

"What the fuck is going on?" He asked, then saw me. "Alice? Why the fuck am I not surprised?" I stood up and saluted him.

"Because I'm Hange's little sister, sir! And when am I not chin deep in trouble?" After that, Eren, who was now unconscious, was taken to Sina. There was to be a trail to see what would happen to him since he could turn into a Titan. Mikasa, Armin and I went as well, waiting in one of the barracks within the innermost wall.

I wasn't happy. Too many bad memories happened within these particular walls. And to keep my mind off it, I was looking through all the notes I had taken on Eren the past few years, many things making sense now that I knew what he could do.

"What are you looking at, Alice?" Armin asked as he sat next to me.

"Oh, this? Well, you remember our first week as trainees, when Eren couldn't pass the balance test because of faulty equipment? Well, when we were trying to help him and he hit his head, I noticed something like steam or dust coming from the wound." I pointed out the note to the blond. "After that event, I kept track of things that happened. He healed much quicker than others. And now, everything makes sense." I looked to Armin then. "Have you ever noticed things like this happening before you entered boot camp?" Armin shook his head.

"No. Mikasa, did you?" Armin asked, turning to her, then flinching. She was glaring at me.

"Why the hell would you be keeping tabs on my brother like that?" She asked. I turned to her.

"Because it might have been something important. And guess what? It is. This information could help us find a way to finish Titans. EREN could be the one person who has the capabilities to finally end this. No, no could be, he IS. Eren's the key to ending this war."

"You don't know that!" Mikasa snapped out. I stood then, handing Armin my notebook.

"You have so little faith in him?" I asked. She shook her head.

"All I'm saying is that it's too dangerous and too much pressure. He can't handle it." She countered.

"Can't handle it? He just moved a giant fucking boulder nearly across an entire city! He grew a fucking arm and leg back-"

"Limbs he wouldn't have had to grow back if I was there to protect him! You're wrong Zoe, Eren needs me! He can't take care of himself!" She yelled. I finally fucking snapped, grabbing the front of her by the scarf around her neck and pulling her to my face.

"HE WAS EATEN SAVING ARMIN! LIKE HELL HE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF! HE DECIDED TO GIVE UP HIS LIFE FOR ANOTHER! IF YOU WERE THERE, WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED? IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ARMIN IN THAT FUCKER'S STOMACH, NOT EREN! AND UNLIKE EREN, ARMIN CANT TURN INTO A FUCKING TITAN! HE WOULD'VE BEEN DEAD ACKERMAN! IS EREN SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT YOU'D BE FINE IF ARMIN DIED INSTEAD!" I screamed. I shook with my rage and let go of her, fists clenched by my side. "If that's true," I looked up through my bangs, baring my teeth. "You're no better than the Military police scum here. And you sure as HELL are no fucking friend to ANYONE." She stood there, quiet and shocked. I turned to Armin, who was just as shocked.

"Sorry Armin. Can I have my notebook back. I've got to get out of here." He nodded slowly as he handed me my notebook and I headed out. I couldn't be near her. As I walked, I saw Erwin and Levi walking down the hall. I instantly smiled and ran up to them.

"Erwin! Levi!" They turned to me and I stopped between them. "You just finished talking to Eren, right?"

"Yes, but that information is confidenti-"

"Is he okay?" I asked, cutting Erwin off. "I'm curious as hell to what you talked about, but I just want to know how he's doing, please."

"He seems to be fine. He's definitely fired up." Erwin said. I smiled.

"Good."

"What the hell were you just screaming about?" Levi asked as I walked with them. My eyes narrowed.

"Just yelling at some overbearing bitch." I bit out. We passed a Military Police officer and I froze for a second before grabbing onto Erwin's jacket sleeve.

"Alice, you know you don't need to worry about-"

"Save it Erwin." Levi said. "She's never NOT going to. There's no point saying other wise." He looked to me before sighing. "Go back to your friends, Zoe. Hell, I'll even escort you back to your room." I looked to Levi and noded slowly.

"O-Okay. See you at the trail Erwin." I hugged him, saluted him, and then grabbed onto Levi's coat, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Your hands better be fucking clean."

"Washed them as soon as we got here." I said. Levi sighed and we walked back to my room, which I, unfortunately, shared with Mikasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry Mikasa lovers. In every other fanfic I have, she's liked or nice. To be truthful, I'm not the biggest fan (hey look! people hate me now!) Like, I understand why she's so protective of Eren, but to the extent that she pretty much wants to glue herself to his side to keep him safe drives me nuts! Like, seriously. It's just... no. Just calm your tits and back the fuck off. So in this one fanfiction, Mikasa shall be in the negative light and I will be hating on her SO MUCH! Just the points I don't like.... she pisses me off so much I'm sorry!


	7. Chapter 7

**Alice's POV**

The next day I went with Mikasa and Armin to Eren's trial, standing next to Mikasa, as much as I didn't want too. Eren was brought in and mounted to the floor. He looked more like an animal than a human, and that irritated me.

The trial began and after the Military police said their thing, which was that Eren was dangerous and should be executed and dissected, Erwin spoke for the Survey Corps, saying how they could use Eren's Titan shifting ability to help take back Wall Maria.

The Military Police, of course, had a counter. Which was that Eren couldn't control his Titan, and attacked Mikasa once he shifted. And Mikasa's defense? Eren was swatting a FLY! I barely withheld the groan at the stupidity of what she just said. And then they started claiming that Mikasa was a Titan shifter as well, and Eren, brilliant Eren, started yelling at them. He told everyone to put their faith in him so that he could end the war against the Titans.

This caused the Military police to point a gun at him, and to save Eren's ass, Levi stepped in and kicked him... repeatedly. Mikasa surged forward, but Armin and I held her back.

"Remember all those talks we had?" I hissed after Armin spoke to her. "If you go out there, you will only make sure those pigs get him." I turned and glared across the way at the one that pulled the gun on Eren, then the Commander of the Military Police, Nile Dok. He still thought Eren was dangerous.

After another proposal from Erwin, Eren was given to the Survey Corps. Which made me extremely happy because that meant that Eren would get into the Corps before the rest of us, and to be truthful, he fucking deserved it.

Armin, Mikasa, and I went to the barracks that the rest of the 104th, from all sectors, were staying. I turned on Mikasa as soon as we were inside.

"Are you fucking stupid?!" I growled, causing everyone to turn to us.

"What?" She asked. I threw my hands up.

"A fly? A fucking fly? Yes, that's perfect. While you're at it, tell them about the flea he squashed to protect you! Flies are tiny to US! I'd be surprised if a 15 meter Titan even notices their existence! They'd be too damn small dumbass!"

"I was just trying to protect him!" Mikasa snapped back.

"Well you didn't! That lie is what made shit go down hill! No one in that room is stupid as much as we may wish they were! Though if you had told the truth, they may not have questioned what you were, Eren wouldn't have flipped his shit, and Levi wouldn't have cleaned up YOUR mess and saved Eren himself. So congrats, you're fucking stupid over protective brain helped, this time."

"That midget didn-" And she was on the fucking floor, holding her cheek. The room was silent, and gasps rose into the air. I pulled my fist back, eyes narrowed and dangerous. I grabbed the front of Mikasa's shirt, pulling her towards me.

"You will NEVER disrespect Corporal Levi in my presence EVER again. Am I understood Ackerman? Next time, it won't be a fist in your jaw, but a blade in your chest." I let go of her and walked away. I was shaking in rage.

I wasn't all that happy that Levi beat Eren to a bloody pulp either. But I knew Eren would be fine with his healing abilities. And Levi's not usually like that. He doesn't beat people for the hell of it. Discipline for him is a different kind of pain, soreness of muscles from training to hard or cleaning hunched over for hours. He doesn't do physical pain that brings blood or breaks bones as a form of discipline, I'd know. He was kind in a different way. So for anyone to disrespect him, my blood boils.

I headed to the showers and started washing, thinking over everything that has happened in the past few days and what was to come. Unfortunately, I've had too much interaction with the Military Police, and my past memories surfaced, causing me to scrub my skin raw, almost to the point of bleeding.

A hand came and grabbed my wrist. I jumped and turned to see Sasha, a towel wrapped around her.

"Alice, what are you doing? Why are you crying?" I cocked my head. I was in the shower, how could she tell I was crying? "You're eyes are red and puffy, I just assumed." She said quickly. And with that realization, I just broke down. Sasha held me as I cried. And as I did so, I confided in the fourth person what had happened when I was younger. The trauma brought to me by the Military Police.

Once I had finished, Sasha looked completely mortified.

"Oh my Walls." She said, pulling me closer and hugging me tighter. "Come on, let's go. You need to sleep." She smiled softly. "The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner we can join the Survey Corps, and the sooner we can get away from here." I looked to her and smiled.

"You're joining too?" Sasha nodded.

"After watching them eat people... I can't not." She said, slightly shaken by the memory. We stood, got dressed, and headed to our shared room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will eventually share Alice's past, in detail, in a later chapter. How much later? Not sure yet.


	8. Chapter 8

**Alice's POV**

The next few weeks were kinda weird. I definitely missed not seeing Eren everyday. His determination was a nice driving force for me to improve. With him not around, everything sort of felt... dull. I blame part of this on Mikasa. She looked like someone had taken her damn doll away, which just pissed me off even more.

But what did happen over those few weeks, was I did research on a couple of my friends, and Mikasa. Why? Easy. So that when they're in despair and need something to brighten their day, or they need motivation, I can pull up something about them. Was this ethical? Probably not. When everyone found out would they be pissed? I would be surprised if they were't. Some things I found were depressing, others made me envious. But besides that, nothing really horrible. I obviously asked them some questions as well. Stuff that would be more personal and wouldn't be in files. I had done this before, and to say that Levi and Erwin were pissed off at me would be an understatement, but they weren't too cross.

But I could also use everyone's past against them if they stepped out of line. And I had every intention to pull any and all information I had on Mikasa out if she stepped out of line again. And I would give little to no shits about it.

The night to choose our factions came, and we stood in front of a stage where Commander Erwin was giving his little speech. Afterwards, everyone left except Jean, Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Armin, Mikasa, Ymir, Krista, and I. We were to be heading back to the new Survey Corps headquarters to begin preparations for the 57th Expedition.

"Hey Jean." I said, walking up to said soldier.

"What is it?" He asked, slightly cold. We weren't the closest, butt heads frequently over where we wanted to go in the Military, much like him and Eren did.

"I wanted to apologize." I said. I had heard about Marco, one of Jean's closest friends, dying in Trost while Eren was having troubles with the boulder.

"For what?" He asked, not as cold and actually slightly shocked.

"For what I had said during our Trainee days." I said. "I have problems with the Military Police, but not with you. I shouldn't have pushed my anger for most of them on you. You didn't deserve it." I smiled lightly. Jean just looked away.

"Yeah. I'm sorry to I guess. For everything I said." He said. I smiled a little more and hugged him.

"Thank you Jean. Now come on! We have Titans to kill!" I said happily, turning and heading to the carriages that would be bringing us to the Survey Corps HQ.

The entire way I talked excitedly about what would hopefully be happening, the members I was sure was left, those who had passed, and so on. I'm sure everyone got sick of me after a while. But the amounts of fucks I gave were slim. When we made it too the castle that was being used, we were lead in when Eren stopped us. He asked about Marco, Jean and Annie, because he hadn't seen Jean. And said soldier came forward and told him that Marco was dead.

And right after that, Mikasa fucking clung to Eren, asking if he was okay and began to say what she'd do to 'that midget' for hurting Eren. I growled.

"Ackerman." I barked out. Her eyes were the only thing to move to me. I stepped forward and grabbed her wrist, pulling it away from Eren's shoulder. "I thought I had made it clear what would happen the next time you spoke ill of Corporal Levi."

"I don't think you'd actually do something that drastic." She said. I smirked lightly.

"Oh really?" I pulled a knife from my pocket, tossing it and catching it a few times. Everyone just watched, but someone spoke up.

"Careful Alice. You don't want to hurt anyone with that." I froze and turned to see Hange, smiling wide. I dropped the blade and ran at them, jumping and wrapping my arms around their neck.

"Hange!" I said, hugging them tightly.

"Hey little sister. How's it hanging?" I stood back and slapped their arm.

"I haven't heard from you in over two years! I got more letters when I lived at home then in boot camp! You had promised to keep in contact with me! I was worried sick you fucker!" I whined. Hange laughed, head tilted back.

"Sorry Alice. I was busy with research." They looked to Eren and smiled. "I've still got somethings to research on Eren." I smiled as I pulled my notebook from my person.

"I have notes from our trainee days." I said as I held it out to my sibling. "I noticed Eren healed faster than others and everything I've observed is in there. Maybe it'll help!" Hange squealed and hugged me.

"Thank you thank you thank you! I'm sure that these will help us understand Eren's powers more! They could even help him learn to control them! Good work lil' sis." They ruffled my hair and I smiled. Then something clicked in my head.

"I haven't found out how quickly broken bones heal though." Hange's eyes widened. Our heads snapped towards Eren. "Take notes." Hange nodded and before anyone could speak, I punched Eren in the nose, breaking it. He stumbled back and just looked at me like I had lost it.

"Move your hand." Hange said, grabbing Eren's wrist. We watched as it steamed and even set itself before it finished healing, only some blood left behind. "Oh wow." Hange said as they quickly wrote some notes down.

"What the hell!" I felt someone grab my collar and pulled me towards them. I was met with familiar grey eyes and red scarf. I blinked a few times.

"Hey Hange, does this look familiar to you?" I asked. They turned after they got all of their notes and laughed a little.

"Oh yeah, that's usually how Levi yells at me."

"Is it supposed to be scary?" I asked. Hange shrugged.

"Not really." They said as they turned back to Eren to examine his nose more.

"Good. Because it's not." I said, looking Mikasa dead in the eyes. "I'm sorry to say, Ackerman, but Armin scares me more than you do." I grabbed her hand and pulled it off me. "And that's really saying something." I turned to Eren and smiled. "Sorry about that. It was impulse. And I know you've spent time with Hange, so you can see how it runs in the family. Are you okay though?" I stepped up to him and swatted Hange's harsh fingers away and gripped his cheeks gently, moving his head to inspect his nose.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just warn me next time." He said. I smiled.

"Will do!" I giggled.

"Get your hands off him." Mikasa growled. I turned to her, a deadpan expression on my face. Then a thought came into my head and I smirked.

"No can do." I said, before turning and bringing my lips to Eren's. The surrounding area was dead quiet as I pulled away, smiled to Mikasa and turned. "Now, I believe we have uniforms to get!" And I walked away, my heart fluttering for some reason. Probably adrenaline for when Mikasa comes to try and kick my ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've rethought this scene so many times. It has the same general basis, but certain dialogue was removed. And yes, Alice kissed Eren JUST to piss Mikasa off. If I wasn't such a chicken shit, I would totally fucking do it!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Alice's POV**

The days leading up to the expedition were spent training and briefing for the upcoming expedition. Any down time I had was spent with Hange. We'd theorize together about Eren's abilities, what his Titan could be used for, and if his Titan form could be used to decipher any of the mysteries behind other Titans. And Eren and I spoke like always, only sometimes I'd ask questions for Hange's research, and he'd answer no problem. The kiss was dropped completely and nothing change between us. Mikasa still glared at me, but that was nothing new.

And I was only a little off with my prediction on Connie and Sasha. They started dating a few days after we joined the Survey Corps. And I have spent many a day guarding a broom closet for them to make out in. I didn't really mind, they weren't audible, and they usually timed it so that I was cleaning there, so it didn't look suspicious or anything. That, and I viewed love as something to be treasured and taken seriously. In this world, in our line of work, where they could be taken from you at any second, staying quiet and not revealing your feelings can be dangerous. Unfortunately, it can also be just as dangerous to do so. Love is just one of those emotions that can make you regret your actions whether acting on them or not. But for Sasha and Connie, it did good for them, so I had no problems being the one to keep Levi from walking in on them playing tonsil hockey.

When the day of the expedition came, I was placed on the left side of the formation. As the expedition went on, it seemed that I ended up on the safer side because tons of red and black flares came from the right side of the formation. When my group made it to the forest, we got into the trees with the order to keep Titans out. It was a while before there was a scream heard from inside, sounding sort of human, but not quite. It was a Titan, but not Eren. I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but Titans seemed to be drawn to the sound.

It felt like hours, and probably was, before we were given the order to return to the walls. We had a big hit, and most of Levi's squad was wiped out while Eren was unconscious. I went over and Mikasa was obviously worried sick. From what I could observe, Eren had been in a Titan's mouth if the Titan phlegm that still clung to his uniform was anything to go on. And he had obviously shifted by the marks that were fading from his face.

"Dear fuck." I breathed as I looked around at what we had left. A lot where hurt, but those from the left side of the formation seemed fine. The right side might as well have been completely worn out besides a few scouts here and there. It wasn't pretty. And as we headed back, we had to use some of the bodies of our comrades to keep the Titans away from us because some idiot had gone to get his friend's body, and we lost more soldiers through that. I was so angry. So very fucking angry.

When we made it back in the walls, Eren came to, and he looked pretty damn distraught over what had happened. Once we made it back to the castle, we did our mourning as a call came in for us to bring Eren back to be 'reevaluated' as a possible tool for humanity. We were also caught up on what happened during the expedition, and I stood after hearing how Mikasa had went after Eren from Levi.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked, growling as I glared at her. It was my old trainee squad mates, Levi, Hange, and Erwin.

"What?" Mikasa asked. I slammed my hands on the table.

"You stupid fuck! How many fucking times do I have to tell you! You can't fucking do that!"

"Eren needed my hel-"

"What did you contribute?" I asked coldly. "Corporal Levi is on medical leave because YOU DISOBEYED DIRECT ORDERS! TWICE!" I barked out. " From what I gathered, Levi also did most of the work! He took the Female Titan down enough to get Eren from her mouth, even hauled his comatose ass all the way out of the forest. What did you do?"

"What did you do?" She snapped back at me.

"I did what I was fucking ordered to do! I didn't break formation because I had to go make sure Eren was okay! I didn't do that for anyone, nor would I ever! It causes more harm than good." I growled.

"So you're telling me that if Hange was in danger, you wouldn't go save them?" She asked. My eyes narrowed.

"I would follow my orders. If I was ordered not to interfere, I wouldn't. And I'd expect everyone else to do the same. One person's life isn't worth all of humanity. One person's corpse isn't worth the soldiers lost to retrieve it." I said. "We have to take our losses and go. There is time to mourn. And that sure as hell isn't in the middle of a battle field." I made sure my eyes were locked on Mikasa's. "And allowing the pain of loss to consume you to the point of being reckless and accepting one's own death when it's not certain at that time is no way to act either."

"How can you be so cold?" She asked. I smirked.

"Look in the mirror for a second, Ackerman. You can be as cold as I am. But who can blame us with the shit we've seen. I mean, most of our peers have seen our friends die by Titans, but they don't know the shit you and I have seen." Mikasa froze.

"What are you getting at?" She asked, carefully. Sasha stopped eating the bread she was given and stared at me.

"Alice, you don't mean..." I shrugged.

"Not many people can recover after witnessing one human take another's life. Especially of one's own mother and father."

"How did you-" Mikasa began. I shrugged.

"I'm unfortunately very much like Hange. However where almost all of their craving for knowledge is directed at Titans, mine expands a bit. I did some background research on most of you. And I must say, eight is a hard age to be orphaned." Eren was the one to move, grabbing onto my shirt collar.

"You shut your fucking mouth." He growled, eyes narrowing. "You have no idea what Mikasa's been through!" I frowned slightly.

"Don't know?" I laughed bitterly, right in his fucking face. "Try six." I spat, shaking lightly. "Try watching your parents murdered when you're six. By the people meant to PROTECT YOU." I flipped Eren over my shoulder, not really caring anymore.

"ALICE." Erwin shouted. I turned to him. "You will control yourself this instant." I turned my face away, saluting.

"Yes sir." And I turned back to Mikasa. "You know how much I envy you." I said. "Your loss was so much easier than mine. I would've loved to have my parents die protecting me and then get kidnapped for the sex slave trade than the shit I went through." And then I turned to Eren. "And maybe you should wait a few damn seconds before jumping the gun." And finally, I turned to Levi. No words were exchanged, just a quick nod before I headed out.

I went to Levi's room, the only room that had a bathroom attached that had a bathtub in it. I turned on the hot water and stripped, stepping in before it was even half full, and started scrubbing, hard. Phantom hands slithered over my skin, phantom mouths marking the flesh of my neck, shoulders, chest, and back. My skin soon became raw as I scrubbed, not caring that it broke and bled in a few places. A knock on the door only divided my attention for a brief moment.

"Come on in." The door opened and closed, the footsteps familiar, but not those of who owned the tub I was in.

"You okay kiddo." Hange said, sitting on the edge of the tub, watching me. I sighed as I moved from my shoulder to my arm finally.

"Not really." I said as I felt my skin protest the roughness of my motions. "What happened after I left?" Hange chuckled humorlessly.

"Well, Eren started to ask questions about you. Jean started cracking jokes with Connie. Armin tried to get Mikasa to calm down a bit. Those four at the end that don't really converse with anyone continued what they were doing. Levi drank tea as usual, Erwin talking about what was next."

"What about Sasha?" I asked, slowing my motions.

"Well, after a certain comment from Jean, she slapped him across the face and screamed at him, saying that if he actually knew what had happened to you, he wouldn't say such things. She then defended you to everyone in that room and told Eren that if he wanted to know anything about you, to ask no one else but you." They ran their hand through my hair. "I didn't know you had confided in anyone else." I nodded.

"Yeah, I did a few weeks ago. I got in an argument with Ackerman and it brought up the memories. Sasha found me in the showers. It just sort of came out." There was another knock on the door. Much to quiet to be Levi's.

"Squad Leader Hange, Alice. Corporal Levi said I could find you in here?" A familiar voice said.

"Come in Sasha." The door opened slowly and in came Sasha.

"How are you holding up?" She asked, leaning against the sink. I held up my arm, now red and raw, bleeding slightly.

"Pretty good actually. The waters barely turned pink." And I went back to scrubbing my other arm. "Hange told me you stood up for me. Thanks Sasha." I smiled to her. "You really are a great friend." She smiled sadly.

"I couldn't sit there and listen to Jean talk like that and have Eren ask questions I don't have the right to answer."

"What did he say anyways? Jean I mean." Sasha's eyes narrowed.

"That you need to get laid because it'll calm you down." I stopped in my scrubbing. Too many flashbacks flooded my head. Too much pain, too many screams, too many faces and touches. I started to shake.

"Alice-" Hange began.

"You bring that fucker here. NOW!" I yelled. Sasha nodded and was out of the room, Hange stayed behind to try and calm me down.

"Alice, you need to calm down. You're safe now." They said, trying to rub my back where it wasn't raw. There was an angry knock on the door a few minutes later.

"Why the fuck is Blouse and Kirstein standing outside my damn door?" Levi growled out.

"Because according to Kirstein, I need to get laid." I bit out. Standing from the tub and drying off. I unplugged the tub and after making sure I was actually dry and hadn't ruined Levi's bathroom, I got dressed and walked out. Levi was glaring at the two scouts standing in his room.

"Listen Alice, it was just a jo-"

"Tell me Kirstein." I said, walking forward dangerously. "Do you know how low the Military Police will stoop?" Jean stopped and shook his head.

"No, but what does tha-"

"Tell me. Have you ever had sex?" Jean blanched.

"W-Well I-"

"Willingly?" That stopped him dead.

"What?" I stopped in front of him.

"I asked if you've ever had sex willingly?"

"Y-Yes..."

"Good for you Jean. You lost your virginity WILLINGLY." I slapped him then. "I didn't get that fucking luxury!" I was shaking by now. "So Jean, do I REALLY need to get laid? Do you think having another person's genitals inside me is going to calm me down?" The look on Jean's face. A shade paler and he'd be whiter than Levi and Mikasa.

"I-I didn't kno-"

"Of course you didn't!" Sasha yelled. "If you knew, you wouldn't have said a damn thing!" She came over to me and hugged me, gently patting my head.

"And that's not the worse of it." Hange said. "But that's for another time." They said, walking forward. "Come on girls, let's get you to your rooms. It's getting late and Erwin has some information and plans to announce tomorrow."

"Kirstien." Levi growled out. Jean turned to him and gulped. "Stable duties for the rest of the month. And they better be fucking clean BEFORE breakfast." Jean jumped to his feet with a tight salute.

"Sir yes sir!"

"Dismissed." Levi said, turning to me and motioning for me to come closer. Sasha and Hange waited for me in the hall. "You sure you going to be fine brat?" I smiled lightly and nodded.

"Are you? You had a big hit today." Levi took a deep breath and sighed. Emotionless mask slipping only slightly, showing how tired he was.

"I'll be fine after some sleep. It's been fucking crazy since that Yeager brat joined." I laughed lightly.

"Nothing new there. Goodnight Levi." I turned to leave when he grabbed my wrist.

"Alice, you know if you need to talk..." He left the rest unsaid. I smiled.

"You're all ears. I know. Thank you Levi." I pulled him into a hug. He sighed and pat my back.

"Alright, now get the fuck out. And you better not have dirtied my bathroom."

"Hange's fault, not mine." He rolled his eyes.

"Of course." I giggled and left the room, heading back to Sasha and my shared room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You now know some more of Alice's past, but not all of it yet! It's sick and twisted, I know. But after writing tons of happy fanfictions, you just need one that makes your skin crawl that's filled with upsetting shit. And this is my upsetting shit. And Alice's past only gets more twisted.... I have problems...


	10. Chapter 10

**Alice's POV**

The next day Sasha and I headed to the mess hall for the meeting. Erwin had a plan for what to do once we hit Sina, as well as some important information.

"Cadet Arlert, please share what you've observed." Erwin said, looking over to Armin. He stood and saluted.

"I believe I know the identity of the Female Titan." Armin said. "I believe it was one of the soldiers that was in the southern 104th trainee squad with the rest of us, that went into the Military Police. Cadet Annie Leonhart." Eren stood then.

"It can't be Annie. She was our friend. She would never-" I stood then, eyes wide, turning to Sasha, Mikasa, Christa, and Ymir.

"You remember the first few weeks of camp? When some of the girls threw the reports Commander Erwin was letting me look at." The four nodded. "Annie helped pick some of them up right?" I saw Sasha pale.

"B-But I collected everything from them!" She said. I stared at her.

"But what if she managed to look at one of the documents before giving it back? There were quiet a few papers, it wouldn't have been hard since the rest of us were cleaning up." I said.

"But you said everything in those documents was common knowledge." Ymir said. I nodded.

"But that doesn't mean anything. The smallest bit of information that's overlooked could change the material from unclassified to classified..." My eyes widened further. "They also had thrown my notes on Eren." I slowly turned to the Titan Shifter. "I didn't have much at the time, but if she's been able to control her Titan since a young age, seeing anything, the one note of seeing possible steam from one of Eren's wounds, could have tipped her off."

"Are you saying it's possible that this one shit knew Eren was a shifter before he did?" Levi asked. I nodded quickly.

"It's entirely possible. But Eren's never been alone, or in a vulnerable position, until the 57th expedition." I said. Eren growled.

"It can't be Annie!" Eren denied. Armin began to reason with him. Saying how she had Marco's gear because her's was damaged, how Eren must have seen similarities when he fought her Titan in the woods. Eren continued to deny it though. I growled then, grabbing him by his collar, making Mikasa stand and at the ready to protect her brother.

"Eren! You need to fucking listen to me. Is it possible that Armin's wrong? Yes. But what if he ISN'T?" I asked.

"How can you say that?" Eren said. I smirked.

"Have you met those I consider family? Have you listened to the things I've been telling your sister for two years? I'm all about duty and following orders. It's not hard. And as much as it hurts to think that one of our friends has betrayed us, it hurts more to have allowed them to get away with the people they killed. If Annie isn't the Female Titan, she isn't." I said. "But if she is, we can't let her go. Trust me, I'm not happy with the idea, but if Annie IS, she's committed too many crimes." My eyes narrowed. "She killed to many people I know, and she hurt people very important to me." I said.

"You're turning sentimental." Levi said. I loosened my grip on Eren, turning to him slightly.

"If we weren't in the middle of an important meeting, and I wasn't trying to knock some sense into someone, I'd share the story were you read me a bedtime story because I couldn't sleep and Hange and Erwin were to busy with work to comfort me." The glare and pink cheeks were worth it as I turned back to Eren.

"We need you to be ready." I said. "Every rumor, every hypothesis, every theory has some truth in it somewhere."

"But Armin could be wrong." Eren said. I flat out laughed in his face.

"You're fucking kidding me. I have yet to hear anything that comes from his mouth that isn't pure genius. If Armin's wrong in this one thing, oh well. At least we knew that one of those slime inside the walls is decent. If he's right though." I left the rest unsaid. Mikasa chose that time to step in.

"Let go Zoe." She said, putting a hand on my wrist, not too gently, attempting to take my hands off Eren. I purposely tightened my grip.

"Why?" I asked, smirking slightly. "Afraid I'm going to do something?" A dangerous glint in her eyes told me I was pushing her buttons a little too hard.

"Alice." Erwin said. "We have a meeting to return to. You've made your point. We have plans to make and discuss." I sighed, releasing Eren's collar and sitting down. Mikasa glared at me the entire time. "Cadet Arlert, continue." And so Armin explained the plan. Eren looked irritated the entire time. Afterwards, I pulled him away before Mikasa, Armin, or Hange could get a hold of him.

"Where are we going Alice?" He asked as we passed the stables and training grounds. I brought us into the forest surrounding the base before I stopped and turned towards him, leaning against a tree.

"Let it out." I said. Eren cocked an eyebrow. "Go ahead, rant and rage about how ridiculous this whole thing is. Yell, scream, punch a tree, a rock." I stood straighter then. "Me if it helps." Eren looked at me like I told him to kick a baby.

"What? No. I'm not going to hit you." He said. I shrugged before stepping forward.

"That isn't the point. I want you to let out your anger at what was just discussed in that room. What everyone accused Annie of doing and being." I saw the anger flash behind his blue-green eyes. "I'll listen." And so Eren began his rant, pacing back and forth as he spoke, listing off why everyone was stupid, why the even thought was stupid. And I listened, having counters dance on my tongue, but swallowing them shortly after.

Soon the rant switched to everything else. Mikasa babying him, how almost everyone looks at him and treats him like monster, the pain of losing his squad, his friends, his mother. Everything just came out until he was sitting on the ground in a little ball, sobbing quietly. I kneeled beside him, petting his hair in a comforting motion, allowing my own mother hen instincts to come out.

"There we go." I said as I pulled him closer, resting his head between my shoulder and chest, continuing to pet his hair. "Feeling better?" I asked. Eren nodded slowly.

"Yeah... thanks." Eren said, sitting up and wiping his eyes. I smiled lightly, rustling his hair with a wide smile.

"No problem. Anytime you need to rant, I'll listen. If you ever need to banter, I'll contradict you or counter anything you say. If you need to let off steam, I'll spar with you. You're one of my closest friend's Eren. If you need me, I'll be there for you." I smiled lightly. He looked up at me.

"Unless you're ordered not to." He said with his own small smile. I giggled a little.

"Yeah, that's unfortunately true." I said.

"Where the hell did she take him?" We heard Mikasa yell.

"Mikasa I'm sure they're fine." That was Armin.

"I don't trust her with Eren." She said. Eren and I sighed.

"She really doesn't need to worry so much." Eren said. I nodded.

"Question, can I piss her off? I plan on it anyways, but I thought I'd ask you first this time around." I asked. Eren shrugged.

"I'd rather you didn't. But you said you were going to anyways." He said. I smiled.

"Good, come on." I grabbed Eren's arm and pulled him out into the open. Mikasa saw us and started towards us.

"Why you-" I turned to Eren, grabbing his face and pulling his lips to mine again. Leaving them there for a few seconds longer than the last time, before pulling away. I smiled.

"Thanks." I said before turning to Mikasa with the biggest shit eating grin I could muster. "Oh shit, didn't see you there. See ya later Eren." I said, turning back to him and kissing his nose before walking off, purposely swaying my hips. As soon as they couldn't see me, I leaned against a wall, touching my lips as my heart fluttered again. What's wrong with me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee. I enjoy pissing Mikasa off in this. It's too much fun. Next chapter SHOULD be the whole Sina thing, and after that will be more interactions between Alice and Eren!


	11. Chapter 11

**Alice's POV**

The next few days were full of plans for Sina and what everyone's roles would be. I would be with Hange during everything, trying to get any information on the Female Titan while I could before we captured Annie and interrogated her ourselves. That is, IF Annie really was the Female Titan shifter.

I had no reason not to believe Armin's hypothesis, but at the same time, I had no reason to believe him. I couldn't think of many reasons why Annie would turn on us. Unless she was involved in something deeper and someone in the Survey Corps was close to discovering whatever the hell it was.

It was also assumed that Annie was the one to kill Sawney and Bean, two Titans captured in Trost for Hange to experiment on. So even if Annie isn't the Female Titan shifter, if she did in fact kill those Titans, she'd be in huge trouble for that alone.

"It can't be her!" Eren ranted. We were sitting under a tree during a break in planning. Hange and Levi were close enough to watch, but not hear. If they needed to spring into action, they could easily save me, or Eren, but gave us space. Hange wanted to hear what we were saying, but Levi said to leave us alone. I was eternally grateful for that.

"She would never abandon us like that!" Eren said, growling slightly.

"Eren, we haven't found out if you can transform off pure rage yet, so unless you want me to start writing things down." I said in slight warning.

"You already have your notebook out." Eren said, pointing to said object.

"True. Very true. I'll give you that. But hey." I smiled as I looked to the taller cadet. "At least I'm not writing out your rants!"

"Just possible experiments to perform on me." Eren said, brow furrowing slightly. I shook my head.

"Not just that. Just random bits of information that could help take down Titans or improve our gear or anything like that. Experiments for normal Titans, Abnormals, as well as yourself. Theories on where Titans actually came from. Cures to diseases that plague our poorer communities, better ways to ration food to refugees if another attempt on Wall Rose happens. A better way to maintain the population left. Ways to decrease crime and shit." I shrugged. "But this is your rant time, so please, rant." I said with a smile. Eren nodded slowly before returning to his earlier topic of distaste.

"How could anyone accuse Annie of doing those things?"

"Well, with everything Armin says, it could be totally true."

"But-" Eren began, but I held up a hand.

"It's never been tested if when a Titan Shifter changes, their hair doesn't also change. Your physique changed when you transformed, and if the Female Titan IS Annie, which I'm not saying it is, it changed hers slightly as well. What if eye color and hair color can change too? For all we know, the Titan Shifter could have black hair and brown eyes." I said with a small shrug. "But we don't have enough humans with the ability to shift so that we can test this theory." Eren stared at me for a minute once I finished speaking.

"Did you say humans?" He asked. I turned to him with my eyebrow cocked.

"Well yeah."

"You think Titan Shifters are human too?" He asked for clarification. I nodded again.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I? Everyone has something different about them. Levi, and dare I say, Ackerman are excellent soldiers. Hange and I have a love for Titan related knowledge and performing experiments that may be considered unethical. Erwin and Armin have a knack for strategies. You happen to turn into a Titan." I shrugged a bit. "So you're triat is different and kickass. And if Annie can, so does she. It means she used her trait for a reason that hurts what's left of humanity."

"But Annie's not like that!" Eren said, defending her heatedly. I rolled my eyes a little.

"How well do you know Annie? Really." I said, looking him with a deadpan expression.

"She's my friend!"

"And?" I said at his shitty defense. "You're all my friends, and I may have done background checks and research on some of your pasts, but that doesn't mean I know you. I don't know how anyone else thinks. I don't know how their minds work. What makes them tick, and neither do you." I said, standing up off the ground, turning to Eren. "What do you know about Annie that makes you one hundred percent sure it couldn't be her?"

"Because she's not like that!" Eren said, eyes flashing with irritation.

"How do you know?" I said, stepping forward. " You spared with her. She taught you things and made you think about why you were actually fighting during a military camp that was gearing us up to get ready to fight Titans. You haven't known her like you've known Armin and Mikasa. And then you still can't say what they'd do in any situation. You can only hope that they make the right choices. You can only hope that Annie isn't the monster everyone's painting her as. But I'll give you a little information Eren."

"What?" Eren spat, but flinched as soon as he did. I leaned down till I was looking him in the eye.

"I can count on one hand how many people in the Military Police have gone in without some sort of corruption in their hearts. Hell, I don't need to use my hand. Even the ones who go in with pure intentions get swept up in the vile."

"Are you saying Marco would've bent to their will?" Eren glared, standing up. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"If he didn't, they would've killed him themselves. If you stand against them, they will put you down. They're heartless, Eren. And the fact Annie joined only makes me have a few doubts. She's either corrupt already, or she's in big trouble."

"How can you say that?" Eren growled again. I locked eyes with him, watching the anger on his face slowly diminish into something else. Concern, maybe? Worry? Fear?

"I've seen the corruption of the Military Police first hand. And that's all I'll say." I said. My voice was cold, but emotionless. It felt hollow. I felt hollow. And then I could feel the phantom touches, turning away from Eren swiftly.

"Sorry Eren. But I have to go." I looked out and saw Levi and Hange looking at us, and even from the distance, I caught Levi's eyes and nodded. I saw his curt nod and headed out, leaving Eren confused and most likely still riled up. I didn't help him this time, but I could contemplate how to do better if we got the chance before heading to Sina.


	12. Chapter 12

**Alice's POV**

We headed out for Sina a few days later. I stayed with Hange, waiting at the rendezvous point. We watched as Annie, Armin, Mikasa, and Eren headed for the underground pathways. Not all of them lead to the Underground, but just connected. I'm pretty sure that's for the Military Police's benefit.

And after what seemed like a few words, Annie made her move. She went to bite her hand, and a group of Survey Corps soldiers came out and bound her, but something went wrong and Annie shifted into the Female Titan. And another point to Armin for being right.

"Let's go!" Hange yelled and we went and bound Annie's Titan form. Hange stood right in front of her, pulling a blade and putting it in front of Annie's eye, fully prepared to pierce it. And I could see Hange's face. And never in my life was I more terrified of my older sibling.

Annie broke free and ran off. I growled as I saw Jean and Armin go after her, along with Mikasa. But Eren hadn't shifted. I growled as I looked for him. I never did find him, because he shifted. I crossed my arms as I watched him go after Annie. I'd be talking to him, Armin, and Mikasa later about what happened.

I followed after Eren and Annie, writing down everything I observed while avoiding the fight. At one point, Eren's Titan caught fire, similar to how Annie's Titan could form a crystal like substance on her body. Except it seemed like Eren had no control over this Titan he was now in. He went after Annie, tackling her to the ground and biting into her nape, but not taking the human inside. He froze last second. And in that second, Annie's Titan seemed to activate a last effort defense mechanism and began to crystallize, sending the substance up Eren's Titan.

Levi came and cut Eren out just in time and everyone then went down. I helped get Annie's body, which was encased in the same crystal material, from her Titan after it deteriorated enough to do it safely. Eren was put back into custody to have another trial while Annie was taken away to be watched and to see if she could be removed from her casing.

Once I heard that Eren was well enough, I headed to his room in Sina. It was much better than the cell he was in for his first trial when this whole shit storm started. I didn't even knock on the door to the room, throwing it open to reveal the three friends sitting together. Eren on the bed with Mikasa sitting next to him and Armin in the chair.

"Alice." Armin said in acknowledgement, the small, welcoming smile quickly shifting to one of concern. "W-What's wrong?"

"What happened?" I snapped out.

"What are you talking about Zoe?" Mikasa snapped back. My eyes locked with hers before switching to Eren's.

"You should know that if I'm not here to check to see if you're alright, there's only one other reason considering my course of action." I growled, approaching the bed with a deadly strut. "Why didn't you shift right when Annie did?" I asked. Eren looked at his lap.

"He still wouldn't believe it." Mikasa answered for him. "He couldn't attack a friend." I looked to her, before turning back to Eren.

"Are you fucking serious?!" I snapped, voice rising. "You went against orders because you couldn't hurt someone who tried to kill you?" I asked harshly.

"N-Now isn't the time to have this discussion Ali-" Armin tried.

"Like hell it isn't!" I snapped. "If I can tell Ackerman before Trost that her actions could kill everyone and Eren, then I sure as HELL can rip Eren a new one!" I growled.

"Leave him be Zoe. He already has eno-"

"I don't want to hear it Ackerman. Especially from you." I stepped closer to Eren. "You need to put feelings aside on the field during a mission. Friend or not. They are your enemy when they mean you harm. Annie meant you harm. She meant all of us harm. She killed four of your friends in front of your eyes while they tried to protect you. She killed even more while you were standing there with your thumb up your ass because you couldn't wrap your head around a friend's betrayal!"

"Ali-" Armin tried, but I ignored him.

"You need to learn that not everyone is what you think they are. No one is one dimensional. No one is what they seem to be on the surface or first glance. Annie is the perfect example of this!"

"Are you done rubbing this in my face?!" Eren finally snapped. "I get it! I fucked up! I was wrong. Nothing new." I made it up to him and pulled him into my arms, shoving my face in his neck, completely ignoring how Mikasa bristled or how Armin just sat there silently.

"She could have fucking killed you." I whimpered, allowing my worries to show. "She could have easily killed you." I pulled away, slowly running my hand through his hair, minding the bandages. "You fucking suicidal bastard." I said. "Next time you decided to be loyal to a fault, don't have it be when your life's on the line." I leaned forward and kissed his nose. "Next time you go against orders, I'm kicking your ass." Eren smiled lightly.

"Got it." And I smiled before standing.

"Well, I just came to rip you a new one and make sure you're alright. I've got notes to go over with Hange for when we return to HQ. See you all later. And Ackerman, give him some breathing room." And I walked out of the room, my heart fluttering once again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Alice's POV**

A few days later we headed to Eren's second trial. He was, once again, secured to the floor and treated like a fucking monster. The Military Police went over why Eren was dangerous, while the Survey Corps went over why he wasn't.

"He destroyed most of the city." Nile said when it came down to a 'professional' bickering contest.

"He helped in the apprehension of someone who had snuck through the ranks and into the Military Police itself. The experiments being done by Squad Leader Zoe and Cadet Zoe have brought forth crucial information that can be applied when fighting Titans, as well as information on Titan shifters." Erwin countered. "He brought out the traitor, and they are now in custody."

"However, Cadet Leonhart is currently incapacitated for an undetermined amount of time. Any information that could have been given from her is unobtainable." Nile shot back.

"It can not be known if we would've been able to obtain any information from her." I cut in. "We may be unable to get any information on what Annie's motives or objectives were, but the fact of the matter is, she is unable to complete them at this moment. The collateral damage to the city was unavoidable when Annie had decided to shift. If Eren hadn't responded and shifted on his own, Annie would have done irreversible damage. Not only this, but Eren can control his Titan form now. He is no threat."

"What about that other form? The one when he was on fire?" One of the nobles asked. "He seemed to go on a rampage."

"It's something we have yet to see." I said, pulling out my notes and looking through them. "It seems to be something triggered when large amounts of negative emotions trigger a certain chemical reaction in the brain or blood stream that causes a physical shift in the Titan." I said.

"What are those papers Cadet Zoe?" Zackly, the Commander of the entire military and the 'judge' of Eren's trial, asked.

"Notes that Squad Leader Zoe and I have aquired on Eren." I said.

"Share the findings." He said. I nodded.

"Of course, Sir. We have found with our experiments that Eren can only shift after causing a physical form of trauma to his body, such as biting his hand and breaking the skin. The last time we were here, we proved that someone else can cause this trauma without having a shift take place. We have also discovered that Eren can't shift without a specific goal in mind. His body heals quickly, for example he can regrow his own teeth after having them knocked out a couple of hours after the incident." I kept flipping through the notes we had. "And that is all the information we have been able to obtain at this time."

"I see." Zackly said, leaning against his hand and thinking, looking at Eren. "I had given you a trail run in the Survey Corps, Eren Yeager. You seem to have done well, and it also seems that there may be more that can be learned about the Titans through experiments on you. You also are no threat to humanity if what Squad Leader and Cadet Zoe have found is true. You may return to the Survey Corps." Zackly then stood and left the room. Eren was unshackled and Mikasa and Armin went to him. I took a deep breath and sighed with a smile.

"Good work Alice." Erwin said as he approached me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You did well." I nodded.

"Thank you Commander." I said with a small salute. Levi walked over and rolled his eyes.

"You can drop the formalities." Levi said. Hange came over and hug me.

"Oh you did marvelous!" They said. I smiled as I looked over to Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. I locked eyes with Eren and he smiled happily. I felt my heart flutter, but I waved with a victorious grin.

We headed back to HQ and returned to our normal routine. Wake up, eat, clean, train, eat, clean, experiment, eat, clean, go to bed, repeat. And whenever I was with Eren, I felt my heart flutter more. I continued to hear him out when he was stressed, and just hearing him talk both soothed me and riled me up. When we locked eyes unexpectedly, instead of smiling wide and waving, I blushed and gave a small smile and nod.

After a week, I decided to talk to Hange about it. They may not be a doctor or anything, but they'd surely be able to help me out. I looked around for my sibling during some down time we had and ended up walking in on a meeting with them, Erwin, and Levi.

"Oh Walls. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." I said when they all turned to me. "But, um, Hange, can I talk to you after you're done in here? It's really important." They nodded.

"Sure thing Alice!" I smiled as I stepped out. I didn't have anything else to do, so I just leaned against the opposite wall, thinking about everything that's been happening. After a while, the door opened and Levi stood there.

"Come on in brat." He said. I nodded and went in, sitting on the couch next to Hange.

"Okay sis, what's wrong?" Hange asked. I took a deep breath before beginning.

"I think there's something wrong with me." I said. Hange's eyes changed to slight concern, as did Erwin's. Levi looked indifferent, but seemed a little off, his own little way of showing his own concern.

"What do you mean?" Hange asked.

"Well... my heart's been feeling very weird recently." I said. Hange's concern changed to worry as their eyes widened.

"What? What's been happening? What are your symptoms?" They asked quickly.

"Well... it seems to flutter, or skip a beat. And my face warms up frequently. And sometimes my stomach seems to turn. But..." I trail off briefly, a small smile came to my face. "It's not all bad. It's strange. But I kind of like it." I finish. I looked back up to Hange. "So what's wrong with me?" Hange had a small smile on their face, but it quickly changed to one of their big, bright ones.

"Oh my Walls! Sounds like you're in love." They said with a little wink. I fely my face heat up again.

"What? No, no way. I can't be in love!" I countered, covering my face.

"I would say you are." They teased. "Those sound like the physical symptoms to me." Hange turned to Erwin and Levi. "What do you two think?" Levi was leaning against Erwin's desk, arms crossed over his chest while Erwin was leaning on his desk, chin resting on crossed fingers.

"This situation could turn into complete shit." Levi said blankly.

"I agree." Erwin confirmed. "These feelings could easily compromise any situation and future missions. As well as your training and work with Hange, Alice." I frowned.

"No it doesn't." I defened.

"What makes you so sure?" Erwin countered, furrowing his brow.

"Because they make me want to be better." I said. "When I think of them, I want to try hard, become better." I turned my gaze to Levi. "They make me want to surpass Corporal Levi." Erwin's brow unfurrowed a bit.

"I see. So that's a positive. But what happens if they don't return your feelings?" Erwin pushed. I shrugged.

"Oh well? As long as I can be by their side," I smiled "That's enough for me. Hell, they could love someone else and marry them, and as long as their happy, I'll be happy."

"And if they die?" Levi interjected. Always with the serious and dark questions.

"Then I fight harder in their memory." I responded , eyes fixing in a glare as I turned my eyes to my hands, which had clenched into fists. "If I give up, then what does that say about their memory? What does that say about anything? If I throw my life away because they're gone, it doesn't respect them." The three higher ups looked to each other and nodded.

"I'd say that she has a healthy attachment." Erwin said, the other two nodding.

"So." Hange drawled out with a devilish grin. "Are they cute?" I blushed and nodded. It was that moment that something clicked in my head.

"Holy fuck... I've already kissed them!" I exclaimed. The room was quiet a few minutes before Levi groaned.

"It's fucking Yeager isn't it?" Levi inquired. I looked to him and gave one, quick nod.

"What?!" Hange squealed, clinging to me. "Oh that's precious!" Levi and Erwin looked at each other, giving each other a quick nod.

"We're going to have to have a word with him." Erwin said.

"Damn straight." Levi replied. I jumped slightly.

"Wait, why?" The two turned to me, Erwin giving me a small smile while Levi's eyes softened just the slightest bit.

"Well, you did claim Levi and I as your older brothers, right?" Erwin asked. I smiled and nodded.

"So we just need to tell Yeager that if he fucking hurts you, we'll rip his fucking dick off." Levi said. My eyes widened and I jumped up.

"No! You can't!" I said quickly.

"Why not?" Hange asked, cocking their head.

"Because I don't want him to know." I said. "I'm fine keeping this to myself. Eren doesn't need to know I... love him... it might distract him. And I don't want things between us to change." I reasoned. The three nodded.

"Alright. But if he hurts you." Hange left the rest unsaid, giving a manic grin that used to scare me. I smiled and hugged them.

"Thank you. All of you." The other two nodded and I left, feeling like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.


	14. Chapter 14

**Alice's POV**

The next few weeks went... alright, I guess you could say. I wasn't awkward now that I knew what the feelings I had were. I went back to normal. It was Hange, Erwin, and Levi always keeping a close eye on us. Well, closer on Eren. It was a little weird and the others noticed.

"You ever notice how much more attentive our superiors seem to be?" Connie asked during down time. "It's like they think Eren's gonna just turn on them." That, of course, brought forth Mikasa's response.

"That midget already beat Eren bloody. And now he doesn't trust him?"

"It's not that Ackerman." I growled out.

"Yeah, Squad Leader Hange and Commander Erwin have been keeping a closer eye on Eren as well." Armin said.

"Hange I understand. They're probably thinking of all the experiments to perform on Yeager." Jean said.

"Then why would Commander Erwin?" Sasha asked as she stuffed her face with some bread she snuck from the kitchen, with my help of course. Eren looked bummed out at the thought.

"Did what happen inside Wall Sina make them lose faith and trust in me?" Eren asked. I frowned and stood.

"No. That's not it. They're being stupid." I said as my eyes flashed to the side to see Hange and Levi were watching. I turned. "Fuck off!" I barked, making everyone else flinch because they obviously hadn't noticed them.

"B-But-" Hange started. Levi just came closer.

"I'm in charge of Yeager. I need to keep a close eye on him." He said. I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes.

"Yes, but does that mean you have to be watching him every fucking second? No. Sorry to say it doesn't. And unless you're going to drop down to also tuck him in bed at night, stop. Ackerman's way ahead of you with that anyways."

"Mikasa doesn't-" I held my hand up to silence Eren.

"Not the point Eren. Now Levi, if there's a problem with Eren, I promise you'll be the first to know. And Hange!" I yelled back to my sibling. "You can drool over planning experiments in your lab." I pulled one of my notebooks from my jacket and handed it to Levi. "Give these to Hange. They're possible experiments and hypothesis on Eren. And tell Erwin to back off too. He has better things to do then watch Eren, since that is technically your job anyways."

"Which is exactly why-" I leaned forward to whisper in Levi's ear.

"If he hurts me, you'll be the first to know. I can take care of myself, I'm a soldier." Levi clicked his tongue.

"Whatever brat." And he walked away, dragging Hange with him. I just popped my hip and waited a few minutes after they turned a corner, just to see Hange's head poke back out. I tapped my foot a few times.

"Hange! You have experiments to approve. One of them has to do with Eren's regenerative abilities that could potentially be used to make vaccines and on site medical applications." And they were gone.

"Well then." Ymir said. "If you can order them around like that, why aren't you the Commander?" I laughed.

"Are you nuts? That'd be awful. And they're only listening because they know they're being ridiculous anyways." I sat back down.

"I want to know why they're watching Eren so closely." Mikasa said, crossing her arms and adjusting her scarf.

"Too bad Ackerman. You won't find out for a while, if ever." I said.

"Do you know why?" Christa asked. I sighed and rubbed my temples.

"Unfortunately."

"Why?" Mikasa said, glaring at me dangerously. I smirked.

"None of your business Ackerman."

"If it involves Eren, I deserve to know." She shot back.

"No, actually, you don't. As far as the military is concerned, you aren't authorized to be given some information because of your rank. The only reason I do is because I found some of that information out. And I'll repeat myself, the situation in which our superiors are responding to is absolute none of your business. It's not even Eren's business to know." I snap.

"If it involves me, shouldn't I know?" Eren asks. I shrug.

"I am also not in the position of authority to share said information. I can't help you."

"But Eren at least-"

"No Ackerman. Even if I wanted to share any information, I legally can't. We could all be discharged. And I don't know about you, but Eren would be fucking devastated to be forced out of the Survey Corps, especially since that means the Military Police would get him. And I know for hell you would hate that." I say. I'm getting sick of this conversation.

"Is the reason that the others are keeping a close eye on Eren serious?" Connie asks. I shake my head.

"No, it's nothing horrible or bad or anything. To be truthful, the reason they're acting like this is because of some information I told them. And it was completely harmless. I apologize Eren. If I had known they'd act like this, I wouldn't have said anything."

"So what did you tell them?" Mikasa pushed. I just stood with a wide smirk.

"None of your business. Now let's go. We just wasted our break interrogating me. It's time to get back to training." And at the moment, the bell went off saying that down time was over.


	15. Chapter 15

**Alice's POV**

Everyone dropped that conversation for the rest of the week. Everything continued as usual and Levi, Hange, and Erwin stopped watching Eren and I as closely. Hange still did, but that's Hange and they're legally my adopted sibling so... yeah. But that didn't help me out at dinner one night.

"So Alice, how's that crush?" They said as they came in and up behind me. I blanched. Apparently they wanted Eren and I together. Or they wanted to tease me like crazy.

"What? Crush?" Sasha asked as she looked to me. "Why didn't you tell me?" She pouted.

"W-Well... that's because I didn't want anyone to know..." I said, glaring at Hange.

"Why not?" Connie asked as he leaned back in his chair, tipping it slightly so that he was balancing on the two back legs. I looked to him and shrugged.

"Because it's nothing really."

"Nothing?" Hange said, scandolized. "Oh honey. You're down playing this." Hange smiled as they pinched my cheek. "Ali here is actually in love." They teased. My cheeks flushed as I turned to them.

"Damn it Hange." They then let go.

"Poor dear didn't even know at the beginning. Had to come asks Big Sibling Hange as well as Levi and Erwin why her cute little heart would flutter and everything." I blushed more. A few of the others laughed.

"You didn't know when you fell in love with someone?" Reiner asked. I crossed my arms.

"No. Because I've never believed I could feel romantic love.." Sasha frowned a little, and Jean's smile faltered slightly.

"So who is it?" Ymir asked, smirking slightly.

"I'm not telling! And Hange, I swear to the Walls I will cut out your tongue if you even HINT at it!" They laughed and backed off.

"So we have to guess?" Connie asked, letting his chair fall back on all fours and leaned forward. "Sweet. So how do we go about this?"

"We should probably ask gender first." Armin said thoughtfully. "It'd help us narrow it down. What do they identify as Alice?" I sighed as I just gave in. If Armin wasn't involved, it'd probably take everyone a couple of days. But Armin just had to join in.

"He identifies as male." I answer, leaning on my hand as Hange happily sat next to Levi who was sitting at the head of the table.

"So that helps a bit. Rank?" Jean asked. My eyes narrowed. Of course.

"Cadet." I said. I was gonna give the shortest answers I could.

"Is he part of the 104th Southern Division?" Sasha asked. I glared at her. Fuck you too.

"Yes." Reiner, Bert, Jean, Connie, and Armin looked at each other. Eren didn't really seem to care.

"Jee, Alice. I'm flattered but I kinda got Sasha." Connie said. I rolled my eyes.

"It's not you." I said.

"Is it me?" Jean asked. I shot him a death glare. "Got it. Not me." He seemed slightly relieved with that.

"Oh my Walls." Armin said with wide eyes. "It's Eren." My cheeks turned scarlet and I refused to make eye contact with anyone.

"What?" The cadets asked at the same time.

"How'd you deduce that?" Hange asked with a smirk. Erwin then approached the table.

"Well, Eren's the one Alice is closest too and spends the most time with. She's always butting heads with Mikasa on how she interacts with Eren, and is quick to defend him if need be. Alice has also taken on the roll of allowing Eren to vent all of his frustrations to her since after the 57th expedition." Armin explained.

"She's also kissed him before!" Sasha says with a smile.

"Twice actually." Armin corrects. I can almost feel the daggers Mikasa is glaring at me. This is when Erwin speaks.

"So the cats out of the bag." Erwin says. Levi and Hange nod.

"Which means we don't have to hold back." Levi turns to Eren. "If you hurt her, I will personally kick your ass." Hange joined in with their maniac smile.

"I'll conduct my most unorthodox experiments on you."

"And I'll not only allow it, but after we win the war." Erwin smiled, but it was cold and had an underlying darkness to it. "I will not only discharge you from the corps, but you will be wiped from exsistance." I stood then.

"Guys! Seriously? You don-"

"I'm sorry Alice." I froze as Eren's words reached my ears. "I don't feel the same. I personally think that romantc relationships are nothing but a distraction and waste of time." I turned to him and narrowed my eyes.

"That's fine. I've accepted this as a possible fact, and I'm fine with you not feeling the same. But you fucking apologize to Sasha, Connie, Ymir, and Krista. They're feelings for each other do not make them weak. It's not a distraction or waste of time. It may be to you, but to them, it's important, their drive. You could tell me you hate me, but I will not stand here and listen to you say that our friends our wasting their time!" I stood then.

"Alice?" Sasha asked. I didn't look at her, just glared at Eren.

"Apologize for being an ignorant shit." I growled. Eren seemed slightly shocked. "Love is one of the few good things humanity has left to hold onto. Yes, it can make people make stupid descions, but sometimes they push someone to better themselves. Sometimes it gives them goals that would other wise seem impossible. Hell, my feelings for you push me to want to be better than Corporal Levi." I pointed to Levi once I mentioned him. "So don't you fucking dare dismiss it."

"R-Right... sorry." Eren said as he looked back to his food. I turned to Hange then.

"And you!" I got up in their face. "I told you I didn't want to tell Eren I loved him because I didn't want to risk distracting him or changing things between us! Thanks a fucking ton for listening to my request sib!"

"Wait." Armin said. "Was that the reason Squad Leader Hange, Corporal Levi, and Commander Erwin were watching Eren so closely? Because of your feelings for Eren?" I nodded.

"But why wouldn't she tell us?" Jean asked.

"She just told us." Sasha said with a sad smile. "She didn't want anything to change between her and Eren." I nodded.

"Well, now that you all know, I'm turning in for the night." And I headed to my room with my head down. Eren didn't return my feelings. And it kinda hurt. But I'd deal with it. This just meant I needed to work stronger. Even if he won't love me, I can at least have him acknowledge me as a strong soldier and ally. With a fresh mindset and goal in mind, I went to bed thinking of how I could better my skills with the 3D maneuvering gear.


	16. Chapter 16

**Alice's POV**

The next few days were awkward. Eren and I couldn't hold eye contact for more than a second because he'd quickly look away. He'd ask for cleaning assignments on the other side of the castle then me, and would try his best not to be near me during training, and asked if I could stop helping with experiments. Also known as, he was avoiding me. And that just pissed me off. It also pushed me harder in everything I did.

I worked harder during training, listened more intensely during lectures and meetings, cleaned quicker and more efficiently, and studied more on titans and comparing notes taken from the different experiments.

"Alice." Sasha asked one day while I was cleaning our room. "Are you alright?" I pulled the handkerchief over my mouth down when I turned to talk to her.

"No, I'm fucking pissed. Eren's been avoiding me." I said, frowning down at the rag in my hand. "He's being so childish. It really hurts too, losing one of my friends because of this. It sucks and I hate it." I looked up to Sasha with a sad smile. "It makes me kinda wish I never knew what this feeling was in the first place." Sasha frowned as she came and hugged me.

"He's being immature, don't let that get you down Alice. And don't let that push you till you burn yourself out." She pulled back. "We've all noticed how hard you've been working, and it's not really healthy."

"I know." I said. "But it's all I can do not to sit here and pity myself. I've accepted that he doesn't love me back, and that's fine. But I'd rather have him tell me he hates me then avoid me."

"I'm talking to him." Sasha said finally. I looked up to her and shook my head.

"Sasha, you don't need to-"

"No." She said sternly. "He's not being fair to you. He's hurting my best friend, I'm not letting him get away with that." Sasha continued with a determined look in her eye. "You get back to cleaning, I'll go find Eren and deal with him." And so Sasha left the room and I returned to cleaning our window sill.

I looked out to the courtyard to see Eren cleaning with Mikasa and Armin, talking as he swept the stones. I smiled lightly. He was arguing with Mikasa about something, and Armin just shook his head at their antics, saying something every so often. It looked so natural for the three of them. And I envied it. I wanted to be close enough to someone like that. I may have Sasha as a best friend, but it didn't seem to hold a candle to what those three had.

It was at this time that Sasha ran out into the courtyard and went right up to Eren. She started yelling at him, causing Mikasa to come to his aid as Armin stood off to the side, listening and trying to find a peaceful solution to whatever was going on. Even with a raised voice, I couldn't here what Sasha was saying, but her arms were moving widely as she spoke. Mikasa cut in and she must've said something that pissed Sasha off, because she got in her face and her voice rose slightly, but I still couldn't tell what was being said.

I returned to cleaning when my door opened to reveal Hange.

"Hey sis!" I turned to them and smiled lightly.

"Hey Hange. What are you doing here?" Hange went straight to the window, leaning against the frame and smiling.

"Best view in the palace for what's going on in the courtyard. Too bad you can't actually hear what's being said."

"Sasha still yelling at Eren?" Hange threw their head back and laughed.

"Oh no, it's gotten far more amusing. She's yelling at Mikasa." I sighed.

"That's a bit surprising. She really respects Ackerman for saving her back in Trost."

"Oh my." Hange said.

"What?"

"Sasha just slapped Mikasa." I hurriedly went to the window.

"She what?" I asked. Eren was now in a yelling match with Sasha, Armin looked like he was about to piss himself, and Mikasa was rubbing her cheek. "Holy fuck."

"She must have bad mouthed you." I frowned.

"No surprise there. Ackerman's not all that fond of me." The yelling match continued, Mikasa cutting in every so often, and Armin had finally tried to dissolve the situation. Sasha finally just barked something out that had her crying.

"Alice values your friendship, and you're taking it away from her for no reason! And it's hurting her!" I frowned, leaning against the sill next to Hange.

"Hope Levi and Erwin didn't hear that." Hange said. "I may have threatened him, but Eren's still human and I don't want to kill him on accident." Hange said, looking at me from the corner of their eye. "And I don't want to hurt you more." Hange gently pet my head. "But I will be cutting off at least one toe." Hange said. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah..." Armin looked up and saw me in the window. He pointed me out and the other three turned to see me. Sasha turned back first, pointing to me and continuing to sass Eren, who turned back to the argument. And even from where I was, I could feel Mikasa's glare.

"She really has it out for you." Hange said with a laugh.

"Yeah. That happens when you bitch slap them for being stupid." I say, getting off the sill and returning to cleaning.

Later that day, I was walking down the hall, carrying papers from Hange's lab to Erwin's office, when I saw Eren walking towards me. I smiled sadly before looking away.

"Alice." I stopped and looked around the stack in my arms to see Eren was looking at me, frowning slightly.

"Hey Eren. Sorry that Sasha came and yelled at you. I told her not too but-"

"I'm sorry." My eyes widened slightly. "I've been childish." He looked embarrassed. "In this time, we should hold onto our friends, because we never know when we'll lose them. I've been avoiding you hopping that you'll stop feeling the way you do, but in doing so, I hurt you. Please forgive me!" Eren saluted to me and I blushed, smiling wide.

"Of course I will you dumbass." I giggled a little. "Now stand down, I'm not your superior. I'm your equal." Eren looked at me with wide eyes.

"E-Equal?" I nodded.

"Yeah. We're the same rank, and as I've told you before, we're both human." Eren smiled then.

"Thanks, Alice."

"No problem. Oh, I gotta hurry. Hange wanted these to Erwin ASAP."

"Hey, let me help you since I distracted you." Eren said.

"That's alright Eren, I can do it." Eren took the top half of papers from me.

"I'm helping. It's the least I can do for treating you so badly." He said, and started walking down the hall. I smiled and followed, talking with him the entire way.


	17. Chapter 17

**Alice's POV**

Everything seemed to return to normal. Eren talked to me again like before, he'd rant, ask for advice or about my research on Titans or how to fight them. He even tried to help me out sometimes with theories, which was really sweet. We'd clean together, share other duties, and obviously I would help Hange with their experiments on Eren. It just felt nice.

It wasn't long until it was time to go on our next expedition. We had found out so much about Eren and his abilities, but not much that could properly be applied to regular Titans. So we went out of Wall Rose with the same strategies as before.

Before we rode out to the city, I pulled Eren to the side.

"Alice? What is it? What's wrong?" Eren asked. I took a deep breath.

"I never officially said it. Think of this as being prepared in case something goes wrong." I said with a deep breath.

"What do you me-" And I cut him off by bringing my lips to his. It was quick, but that's all I needed.

"I love you Eren." I said. "Fight hard, strong, and smart. I have faith in you." I smiled lightly. "Alright?" He sighed, but gave me a hug anyways. My heart started to beat faster as I blushed.

"You too. You better come back." Eren said, pulling back with a nod and then heading off when Levi called for him. I hurried to my position, Sasha looking at me with a knowing smile.

"So, you're in a good mood." She said. I nodded a little. Even if Eren only meant everything as a friend, it still made me really happy. I would come back, I'd make sure of it.

As we headed out of the gates, we split off into our teams. I wasn't with any of my friends, but that made some sense since we were still new to the Corps. It would be suicide to put a group of cadets together on an expedition, no matter their abilities. We didn't have the right experience considering this was our second expedition in Titan territory.

We were trying to set up safe places between Wall Rose and Wall Maria, places where we could stay when we finally head to Shiganshina to get into Eren's basement without fear of getting attacked by Titans. So far, the Corps had made little progress.

We entered a deserted town that was filled with Titans. Our task was to clear it and see if it would be suitable as an overnight encampment. My squad of six took out four Titans, two five meter, a seven meter, and a ten meter. Unfortunately, we also lost two of our squad mates in the process.

A twelve meter deviant Titan approached us. The four of my squad that was left were swinging and flying around it, but it still managed to kill my other squad mates. I was in a very bad predicament. This guy was smart, and had lead me to believe I had the upper hand for a second before it grabbed me.

Now, I was scared, I will not lie. I was terrified. However, instead of ripping me apart like I've seen other Titans do, or just eating me, he just put my legs in it's mouth and sort of just rested it's teeth on my legs, applying no pressure. It was strange to say the least. I looked to him, still fucking terrified, but since it was smart, maybe it would understand me? Worth a shot.

"Um... aren't you going to eat me?" I asked. The Titan did nothing, but he did look at me. "Can you understand me?" Nothing. I thought a bit. "Blink one for yes and two for no. Can you understand me?" The Titan blinked once. My eyes widened, my fear shifting into excitement. "That's amazing." I managed to sit myself up a bit, holding onto the beast's large nose to keep myself up. "Is this okay?" One blink. "Can I ask you a few questions?" One blink. I smiled and almost started bouncing, but I could feel that the pressure I was putting on his teeth was beginning to cut into my legs. "Um, can you just hold me in your hand?" Two blinks. Damn. I leaned back again, taking the pressure off my legs.

"So... are there things that I could do that would cause you to eat me?" One blink, that put a little fear back, but not as much as it should. "Okay, if I insulted or threatened you, would you eat me?" One blink. Okay, so aggression is not a good tactic. "If I just stayed still and quiet, would you eat me?" One blink. So passiveness is off the table too. "Do all devient Titans act like this?" Two blinks. "I see. Is there a specific reason you are doing this?" Two blinks. "Okay. Oh, can I have a sample of your saliva?" One blink. I smiled as I reached for a test tube I kept on me. "I'm going to reach my hand into your mouth now. Are you going to bite me harder?" Two blinks. I smiled as I reached into the Titan's mouth near my legs and rubbed his tongue, covering my hand in the thick mucus and then collecting it into the tube and corking it. I smiled.

"Thank you." It made a weird sound, like it was responding. "You are one of, if not the, smartest Titan I've ever met." I said happily. Then I saw the retreat flare go off. "Oh, it's time to go. Would you mind releasing me?" Two blinks. I frowned then. "Can you at least take me to where that smoke came from?" One blink as the Titan started walking, seeming to keep mind of jousting me or accidently causing pressure that would hurt me too much. Then something flew past and I saw the Titan's blood come from the back on it's neck and his jaw slackened.

"Ah!" I screamed as I began to fall. Someone flew by and pulled me from the Titan's mouth, considering my 3D maneuvering gear was damaged. I looked to see I was saved by Sasha's squad. I smiled as we landed on a roof, but my legs gave up under me. The skin on my leg had been broken, and the back of my legs had slightly deeper wounds, but nothing absolutely awful. I frowned as I pulled out the saliva sample and saw that it was turning to steam as did the Titan's corpse.

"You okay Alice?" Sasha asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. But I think I've found some things out about the Titans in my little escapade in his mouth. Take me to the cart so that we can clean out my wounds. I don't want them to get infected." I said. Sasha nodded before picking me up again and heading to where the retreat flare was fired.

Once we made it to the rendezvous point, Hange came up to me quickly, seeing my legs bleeding and jumping straight to a quick, on-field cleaning that would keep infection at bay until I could get proper medical treatment.

"What the hell happened?" Hange asked as they bandaged my legs to keep dirt out.

"I was in a Titan's mouth." I said, pulling out my test tube with a frown. "And I had gotten a saliva sample, but once the Titan was killed, it started to dissolve. So all I have is the Titan's steam." Hange's eyes widened.

"It didn't eat you?" I smiled and shook my head.

"Nope, he was a deviant that understood human speech and I talked to him. Even asked for the sample before I took it. It was quite remarkable. We can discuss everything more once we return to headquarters." My smile widened a little more.

"Where's the rest of your squad?" Erwin asked. I frowned.

"The same Titan that spared me killed them." I said. That gave me a few more shocked looks, but we headed out. I was probably going to be out of training for a month, which really sucked. I was just glad I could still feel my toes, which meant that I didn't have any immediate nerve damage, so I should be able to continue as a soldier. If not, I can at least continue to help Hange with their research.

Once we had returned into the walls, I was brought to the infirmary with others and got proper medical treatment.


	18. Chapter 18

**Alice's POV**

As I had said, I was out of training for a month for my legs to recover. Best part, my nerves were not damaged at all. Negative side, walking was a little weird for a while. And I still couldn't join training until I COULD walk properly, so I was left to do simple things, like clean and help Hange with their more simple experiments. It wasn't bad, but it was quite boring not being able to train and being stuck in the castle all day, so I did arm exercises to keep them in shape and did small leg exercises in mine and Sasha's room under said roommate's supervision.

I still went out and watched everyone train though, using this as an opportunity to scale where my friends and other cadets were in their skills, seeing what they needed to work on and such, and I made sure to tell Levi and anyone who was watching them. Needless to say my friends weren't very pleased.

"Really? I've had to work on my defense stances all week because you told Mike I was slacking?" Connie whined at dinner one night. I nodded as I ate.

"You weren't the only one I ratted on. Trust me. Armin's had to do twenty push ups before every meal for the past three days." Said blond was sitting there, arms sore while eating, glaring with a pout which completely removed the potential menacing look he could have.

"What about you? What's gonna happen when you get back on duty? Surely you've softened up a bit since you've been on medical leave." Jean said. I shrugged and smiled to Sasha, who returned a knowing glance.

"Alice, if Hange finds out you're going behind their back and training, they're going to strap you to your damn bed." Levi said from the head of the table. After losing his squad, he sort of adopted the rest of the Eren's and my friends. He worked with us and gave us advice and I liked to think of us as his new squad.

"I'll be fine. I'm not working my legs too much and I only do it when Sasha's available to keep an eye on me. And I can only sit and exam research notes for so long before I need to come back to look at them with a newer mindset." I responded. "And I can only clean so much before having to repeat areas. I'm sure that Sasha and my room is cleanest, second to yours." I said looking to Levi. "I swear I saw the under side of Sasha's bed sparkle."

"I think you're losing your damn mind." Levi said.

"With Hange as my older sibling, it took longer than I originally thought it would."

"But I thought Hange was only your adopted sibling." Connie said, obviously having a lapse in thought. The guy wasn't stupid, just had a tendency to pull an Eren and open his mouth before his brain can close it.

"And Ackerman's only Eren's adopted sister. Anything else that's obvious we want to point out?" I said. Mikasa glared at me, as did Eren and Armin.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mikasa asked. I rolled my eyes.

"It means that you aren't related by blood. That's all. As much as you may think there is, there's no malice intented by the statement Ackerman." I shot back, playing with my food a bit before putting more into my mouth.

"How long have you and Hange been siblings anyways?" Jean asked, deciding that the topic mustn't be a taboo. I closed my eyes to think, trying to avoid the darker memories.

"Hmm... about nine years I guess. Give or take a couple months." I turned to Eren. "Ackerman's been your sister for about seven right?" Eren nodded slowly and I shrugged.

"How did you meet Hange?" Armin asked, deciding to stick with the topic at hand. I froze, dropping the spoon that was mid air as memories flashed past my vision. My mouth snapped shut. Levi decided to take the reigns at this point.

"It's a long fucking story that's really none of your business at the moment." Levi said, watching me carefully. Sasha looked at me slightly worried. But everyone else had no clue what was up with me. Well, Jean and Eren might have general ideas with what I had told them, but at the same time they could have no idea. They only know bits and pieces each.

"Alice?" My head shot up as I looked to Armin. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." I smiled softly.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. Uh... I'm done eating for now. Sasha, you can have the rest, I'm going to go shower and head to bed." I stood on wobbly feet and headed to the communal showers with my awkward limp.

"Alice." I turned to see Hange. They were walking towards me with a smile, but after seeing my face, it changed. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, memories were triggered on accident. Heading to the showers." Hange made a face.

"You know you need help so that someone can dry and rebandage your legs. And I know how you are. If you scrub those spots to hard, you could set back your healing time and make the damage worse."

"Thanks Hange." I said with a small smile, leaning against them once they got close enough. "You really are an angel." Hange smiled slightly, patting my head before bringing me to their room to bathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The healing time is off for the injuries I have given Alice. The cuts in her legs aren't deep enough to cause nerve damage, but definitely deep enough to stop walking for a while. Just pretend this type of injury can heal in a month, and we'll be all good!


	19. Chapter 19

**Alice's POV**

A few more weeks past and I am finally dubbed well enough to rejoin training. It had to be a slow reintroduction, but I hadn't lost the ability to use the gear or do hand to hand combat. I was relieved by these facts. I was also able to join Hange on their more difficult experiments on Eren that would need the 3D maneuvering gear. It was great!

"Alice!" Levi yelled while I was training with Sasha. I stopped for a second to look to him, but snapped back and blocked one of Sasha's punches. But not as quickly as I would've liked. I was still a little rusty not being in the field for almost two months. Once I told Sasha where I was headed, she nodded, switching to train (goof off) with Connie.

"Corporal?" I said, saluting him as I got closer.

"I want to personally see how you're getting back into this shit. Spar with me." My eyes widened slightly. I had never sparred with Levi before. I've watched him countless times when I came to see Hange, Erwin, and him when I was younger, but never ACTUALLY went against the one man army. I was nervous. But if I could at least last more than five minutes, that would prove that I'm a good soldier, considering no one else lasted more than two.

"Of course Corporal." I said with another salute. Levi didn't give me any warning before he began, moving behind me probably to kick the back of my knees, elbow the base of my neck, elbow between my shoulder blades, maybe send a kick into my lower back, upper back was also a possibility.

I quickly stepped to the side, turning and seeing his leg was raised. Looks like he was in fact going for a kick, but I can't just go for the obvious and grab at his leg. Levi's fast, and cunning. He knows how to fight, won't fall for simple tactics or tricks. He's probably actually two steps ahead of me at least, thinking of all the possible moves I could make. But he won't be thinking of something completely bat shit insane.

So I did bat shit insane. I jumped back, falling to the ground, waiting to see what he'd do next. Levi took the chance to observe me.

"Alice. I said I wanted to spar with you. It's not really sparing if you-" I jumped up and sent a right hook for his left side. Levi moved quickly, grabbing my arm and moving to bend it behind my back. I quickly adjusted my weight and leaned back,, moving my leg and managing to step on Levi's foot. He only clicked his tongue a bit, but nothing else. I reached back with my other hand and grabbed the shoulder of his jacket. It pulled on my other shoulder, and it fucking hurt, but no pain, no gain.

I pulled as hard as I could, throwing my weight forward. Now, Levi weighs more than me, and it's all pure muscle. I was hoping I'd be able to use my height to my advantage. Needless to say, it didn't work. I ended up slipping and falling forward. That, however, did work because the upset in balance at least made Levi stumble a bit, and I took that opportunity to hit the back of his knee. So Levi at least stumbled a bit more. Even if he didn't loosen the grip on my wrist. I needed another bat shit crazy maneuver, because as long as Levi had that grip on my arm, I couldn't do much. So how to make him let go?

I got my footing back and stood up completely ramrod straight, and just leaned to the right. It, again, pulled on my arm, but it did enough to have the grip loosen just slightly. With a twist to the left, I freed my arm and sent my leg to Levi's face as I kept falling. Levi blocked and I moved just so that I landed on my hands and a knee, making sure to roll to dissipate the impact. I jumped right back up and turned, just blocking a kick. I then grabbed Levi's ankle, preparing for him to either swing a well placed fist, or swing around with another kick, hoping it'll cause me to release the ankle I current have a hold of.

I quickly moved and wrapped both arms around Levi's leg, falling back again, pulling him with me. Once I was flush with the ground. I wrapped both legs around Levi's, clinging to the appendage with no plans of letting go.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Levi asked as his ass hit the ground. I clung tighter to my hostage. I needed to time this right. I only planned on lasting five minutes. But if I could BEAT Levi. Well that would fucking rock. I quickly moved my legs to wrap around Levi's chest, locking my ankles together behind his back and wrapping an arm around each thigh. When I sat up, I was sitting on Levi's chest, also had him bent pretty much in half, and had locked my hands behind my back to keep his legs at bay.

This is where I made a mistake. Levi could still move his arms and I didn't move quick enough to kneel on them. Don't ask me how it happened, but in the next second, I was facing the ground, Levi on my thighs, arms going under my own and his hands locked behind my head. I was done. I had lost.

"I give." I said. There was nothing disgraceful about admitting defeat. A good soldier knows when they're beat, and I was. I was also panting pretty hard.

"Good work Alice." Levi said. "You almost had me." He let me go and I glared back at him.

"You held back." I pouted. I knew he did. I was just recovered and he wasn't heartless. He wouldn't go full force on me knowing I wasn't at 100%. That's a low tactic, and unnecessary in this case. The fact he went up against me at all in my state was actually fucking amazing.

"Of course I did. You just got back to training. Why the fuck would I send you back to the infirmary?" Levi asked, helping me up. He looked at the two of us and clicked his tongue. "Though I should since you had me rolling all over the fucking ground like that. Filthy." He said. I giggled lightly.

"Well, I was trying to at least last five minutes." I said with a smile.

"Wow." I turned to see that a lot of the others were watching, including Eren. I felt myself blush lightly. "That was amazing Alice." Eren said, eyes sparkling with amazement.

"Yeah, I'm sure Corporal would've laid your ass flat." Jean said with a snicker. I turned to him, cocking my hip.

"You think you could do better?" I asked, motioning to Levi. "Then by all means. Show us how amazing you are at hand to hand."

"I don't have a death wish." Jean said. I shrugged as I turned to see Levi still standing there.

"Thank you Corporal. It was an honor to spar with you." I said, about to salute when Levi raised his hand.

"For the love of the Walls, Alice. Don't go formal on me now." He said. I smiled and hugged him. "I think Kirstein's right when he says you have a death wish." He said with a twitch of the eye. I smile wider.

"You're already dirty! It's not like I'm making it worse."

"Get the fuck off me." He said with a small push to my side. I let go and took a step back. "And go clean the fuck up. Your pants will stain if they don't get washed soon." I nodded before heading to the communal showers and then washing mine and Levi's uniforms after changing into our other set.

"Hey Alice!" I turned while in the middle of scrubbing the dirt out of Levi's pants to see Eren coming over.

"Hey Eren!" I said with a wide smile. "What's up? Is it break time already?"

"Yeah, and I wanted to ask you something." I nodded as I returned to washing Levi's pants.

"Go ahead." I could see the excitement in his eyes.

"What was it like fighting Corporal Levi?" He asked. I smiled a little.

"Well," I started. "It's intense. But he wasn't going 100%. And it hurt. I wasn't completely sure I would've gotten my arm out of his hold. I could've just gone and dislocated it instead." I said. "If I was a little quicker and had pinned his arms, I might have won. But I don't mind losing."

"What?" Eren asked completely confused.

"A good soldier knows when it's time to fight, or surrender." I explained. "Surrender isn't always weak. Sometimes it saves more people and hurts less to give up."

"But you have to fight to win!" Eren said with confidence. "If you don't fight, you lose. If you lose, you die." I frowned a little.

"In some cases that's true." I agreed, moving to the next article of clothing. "In order to survive, we fight. As soon as we stop fighting, we'll die. But in some instances, it's better to lay low. Give the opponent a win or two. Because if you're fighting for the wrong thing, you won't win." I frowned more as memories began to sneak into my mind, and I hastily tried to beat them away. "Sometimes winning and surviving are two different things. Sometimes to survive, you need to give up your free will. It's not really living, but it's better than the alternative."

"What are you saying?" Eren saaid, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Are you saying that humanity was right to hide behind the Walls when the Titans appeared? Are you saying we should give up to them? That all this, the Survey Corps, is a waste of time? I thought you wanted to see outside the Walls!" I stood and turned to Eren fast, teeth and fists clenched as my eyes set in a glare.

"I am not saying that this is a waste of time! Yes, our ancestors were right to hide to try and preserve what's left of us. We're alive right now because they gave up that freedom. No, we shouldn't give up to the Titans, we have to fight against them if we want to LIVE instead of merely existing. The Survey Corps are fighting hard, and saying they're a waste would mean that everyone that has lost their lives to the causes, to any Titan, was a waste of sacrifice! But sometimes we have to cut our losses and retreat!" I yelled. "Sometimes the Titan isn't our enemy! And in those times, sometimes it's better not to fight back!"

"So what, you'll allow yourself to become someone's slave if it'll save your hide!" Eren barked back. Our tempers were flaring, and it wouldn't end good. "You'd rather have someone control your life then do it yourself? You'd rather just exist in a meaningless lie then look for the truth? Bow down to those who think they're higher than you if it means you can scrape by?"

"I ALREADY HAVE!" I screamed. Tears fell down my face as the memories assaulted my mind. "I'VE ALREADY HAD TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM AND BE SOMEONE'S FUCKING SLAVE! AND I'VE NEVER RECOVERED FROM IT!" Eren's anger seems to automatically dissipate. "You don't know what it's like." I cried. "To have those meant to protect you take everything from you. Force you to do things you don't want to do. To hurt you every moment, awake or not. To still see their faces, hear their voices. To not know when you'll be saved." I hugged myself, shaking slightly. "I'm still haunted by the memories. And they'll never go away." I snapped my eyes up to glare at Eren through watery eyes. "And you want to know what fighting got me?" I turned and lifted the back of my shirt.

"What are you..." Eren began before he trailed off. I watched as he cocked his head a bit, after a while, his eyes widened as he stepped forward, hand reaching out and brushing a small area on the left side of my spine."What happened? It looks like a scar from a burn or something." Eren said.

"It is." I said, releasing my shirt and allowing it to fall back over the mark, faded from the years and hardly visible unless you're really looking for it. "I fought back and they held a cigar to my back." Eren's anger was back, for a different reason.

"Who did this to you?" Eren asked. I turned to him slowly.

"I told you, people meant to protect." Eren's eyes widened.

"Your parents." I shook my head.

"No, I already told you they were killed. That happened before this. I also told you I had seen how corrupt the Military Police can be." Eren's shoulders dropped as his eyes widened more and his jaw dropped open only slightly.

"Alice... what-"

"There you are!" We turned to see Connie running over. "Eren! Squad Leader Hange was looking for you!" Eren nodded before turning back to me with a frown.

"Alice-"

"The conversation's over Eren. It's too painful." He said nothing more as he left. Once he left with Connie, Sasha came over.

"Hey, you okay?" She asked, sitting next to me and taking one of my clothes to begin washing. I dropped the piece I was washing back into the wash basin and covered my face, not caring if they were wet as I cried, shaking as the memories racked my body. Sasha let my shirt fall back in and pulled me into a hug.

"I'll tell the Corporal and Squad Leader Hange that you're done for the day. Do you want me to talk to Eren?" I shook my head. "Alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted Alice to have the intense fight with Levi, right. Obviously she would never win. Hell, she'd probably never have gotten away with her first stunt, but meh. And I didn't plan on having Eren and Alice fight, but they have their own ideas and experiences that shaped the way they see everything. I will eventually get into Alice's past, like a big reveal of preposterous proportions eventually. And it will be dark. But haven't found out when to do it yet...


	20. Chapter 20

**Alice's POV**

Things changed between Eren and I. Not huge, drastic things like when he found out I loved him, but subtle things. Eren would sneak glances at me, full of curiosity. He sometimes couldn't keep eye contact with me when we spoke with each other, and I caught him asking Hange, Erwin, and Levi questions about me on more than one occasion. Hange told me what they were asked, and it was things about my past.

"I told him that you would tell him when the time was right. That it wasn't anything Erwin, Levi or I had the right revealing, and that asking you would get him nowhere. He would have to be patient, but he still asks. I only tell him the things that happened after you became my little sister, and when I asked Erwin and Levi, that's all they would answer as well." They told me one day after Eren had left the lab.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready." I said honestly. "I opened up completely to Sasha on accident. She found me while I was vulnerable and hurting. But I don't regret telling her. But..." I trailed off, gently putting the pencil I was writing with down. Hange put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright Alice. This is something that only you can control. You may tell Eren, you may not. You might ask someone who knows to share it with him. I can't tell you what's right, or how to do it. All I can tell you to do, is whatever you will regret least." I smiled.

"Stealing Levi's words?" Hange smiled too.

"Hey, they're perfect advice!" They said loudly. "Now, what did you get for notes?"

Later that day, I was hanging out with Sasha, Ymir, and Christa during our down time.

"I don't understand what you two see in guys." Ymir said as she cuddled with Christa against a tree. I giggled a little.

"Well you wouldn't while you have Christa." The blond in her lap blushed with a smile.

"So Alice." Sasha said. "We all know you like Eren. What's your favorite thing about him?"

"Physically." Ymir added, smirking devilishly. I smiled shyly.

"It's going to sound so damn cheesy but, his eyes."

"Really? That's so damn BORING." Ymir said. I shook my head.

"But think of it this way, according to some people, the eyes are the windows to the soul. And Eren doesn't hide anything, and even when he's trying to, it's in his eyes. They hold most of his emotion, and after spending ten years in the company of Levi, can you blame me for being attracted to it?"

"Alice." Christa said. "That's-"

"True." Ymir said with a shrug.

"And it's not just that." I continue with a dreamy sigh. "But they're just indescribable. Like one second they can be this beautiful emerald green, the next second a deep sapphire blue, sometimes a mix." I frown then. "No, not an emerald and sapphire mix, something else. Something so beautiful that the nobles in Sina only wished they could capture it in the form of a jewel. It would be so expensive that only those bordering royalty could have it, maybe not even then. Painters would only dream of capturing the color, and only the one that could replicate it would be worthy to be called an artist. They are seriously one of a kind, and I'm surprised more people don't just melt at the sight of them."

"Wow." Ymir said. "You didn't need to give us a lecture on them." She laughed. I smiled with a small blush.

"But it's so true." I say. "They're so beautiful and full of emotion. I only wish I could stare into them forever. When I die, I can only hope that maybe it'll be when they're so happy and full of life."

"Why don't you just marry his eyes then." Ymir teases. My smile shifted to a sad one.

"Because sometimes eyes can also be the most terrifying part of a person. Especially in someone as emotional as Eren. It's easy to see the hate, rage, disappointment, disgust, confusion, and betrayal as easy as it is to see the joy and determination."

"Alice." Christa said softly. "Don't worry too much on it. Think of happier things."

"Yeah!" Sasha said, then smiled teasingly. "Like all those times you've kissed him." She said. My face turned red. "You know, if you two ever hook up, I'll return the favor of guarding the broom closet for you two."

"Sasha!" I warned. "You wouldn't be much help against Levi and we all know it!" She paused for a minute.

"I could guard Hange's lab. I'm sure I could do that."

"I'm sure you wouldn't need to." Ymir snickered. "I'm sure they'd guard it themselves in hopes that their sister would get knocked up with Titan babies." Sasha's smile only faltered slightly, as did mine, but the other two girls didn't seem to notice. After the break, Sasha stayed back as we headed to the training grounds, letting Ymir and Christa walk together.

"Hey, you okay?" She asked carefully. "You know Ymir didn't mean anything by it." I nodded as I looked to the ground.

"I'll be fine. And I know she didn't." Sasha frowned a little at me before putting an arm around my shoulders and smiling.

"Hey, do you think you could slip me an extra helping at dinner tonight?" She asked. I smiled to her, silently thanking her for not only changing the subject, but trying to perk me up.

"I can try. But you'll owe me."

"Anything!" Sasha said with a large smile. "What do you need?"

"Trade cleaning duties with me. I'm supposed to clean the stables tomorrow with Ackerman." Sasha seemed to think this over.

"Sure. I have courtyard duty with Eren." I smiled wickedly.

"Oh the chances to piss off Ackerman. Hell, I'll get you two extra servings for that."

"Yay!" Sasha yelled happily, the two of us hurrying to training before Levi took our dinner away.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There is rape, murder, torture, sexual assault on a child and blood mentioned in this chapter. This is the chapter that will reveal the OC's past, so expect it to get dark. You have been warned, so if any of these things trigger you, please DO NOT READ! (I would hope that the original warning in the beginning would have turned you away, but if you ignored it and got to this point, I'm telling you to stop right now)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There is rape, murder, torture, sexual assault on a child and blood mentioned in this chapter. This is the chapter that will reveal the OC's past, so expect it to get dark. You have been warned, so if any of these things trigger you, please DO NOT READ! (I would hope that the original warning in the beginning would have turned you away, but if you ignored it and got to this point, I'm telling you to stop right now)

**Alice's POV**

The weeks continued, and Eren had moved on to also asking others in the corps about my past, even the girls from our trainee days. No one could help him though. And if he wasn't asking around about that one incident, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But he was pressing about that one incident, and it was driving me nuts and it continued to trigger the memories. I am seriously surprised Levi hasn't told me to stop using his personal bathroom, or that Hange and Sasha haven't started to follow me when I do, considering the ear full I get when I actually make myself bleed. Or that Erwin hasn't asked Eren to stop asking about it, but none of them did. I was seriously waiting for everything to just explode and finish spiraling out of control.

And one night at dinner, it finally did. Now, Connie didn't mean any harm when he asked Eren why he was asking everyone about me, and he was only teasing when he asked if Eren was finally falling for me.

"No, I'm just interested in something that she had mentioned, but won't tell me." Eren said.

"There's a reason for that." Sasha said, knowing exactly what he had meant. Eren turned to her.

"Why though? What happened?" Eren asked.

"It doesn't matter." Mikasa said. "Whatever it is isn't important. You shouldn't be worrying about Zoe and whatever happened in her past."

"Thank you Ackerman." I said, which shocked most people at the table.

"Don't thank me. I don't think he should have anything to do with you. Especially in a romantic manner. Especially from what I heard a few weeks ago." She was glaring at me and I cocked my head.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you talking to Ymir, Christa, and Sasha. About wanting to have Eren's babies, just to see if they'd be part Titan." The table went dead silent as I stared at her.

"What the actual fuck?! We never said-"

"Ymir had said something about Hange guarding their lab for you two to do it." Mikasa snapped quickly. My eyes narrowed.

"She was joking around." I said. "And you obviously weren't listening to the entire conversation. Sasha said that if Eren ever returned my feelings and we hooked up, she'd return the favor of me guarding the broom closet when her and Connie were making out."

"Which means that your attraction to Eren is only physical now!" Mikasa had stood as she spoke. I automatically stood as well, knocking my chair over and gaining the attention of everyone that was still in the mess hall, which luckily wasn't many people, and when they saw what was going on and Levi's glare, they cleared out. Everyone but those at the table, Hange, and Erwin.

"How the fuck does that make it only physical?!" I snap. "It has nothing to do with my feelings with Eren! Hell, my favorite physical trait are his damn eyes! You can ask them. I went on a fucking rant about them."

"I don't care! I've seen the way you look at him! If you only want sex, find someone else!" Sasha gasped as Jean's jaw dropped slightly, both looking to me, then Mikasa, and back again. And I finally just fucking snapped.

"Oh yes Mikasa. You are so fucking right! All I want is sex! How could I not have noticed before. It's not like I was RAPED WHEN I WAS SIX!" The room was quiet. So quiet you could probably hear a pin drop from the edge of the training ground into the grass.

"Wh-" Eren tried to say, but I didn't let him continue.

"That's right Eren. That's the big thing that no one will tell you. I was raped when I was six, by the Military Police. Actually." I said. "Since you've been DYING to know, I'll just tell you fucking everything. Right now, so buckle the fuck up." The others at the table began to stand to leave, but I held up a hand. "Oh no, you are ALL listening to this shit. So plant it. Let's see, where to begin. I was born in Sina-"

"You're from the innermost wall?" Armin asked, but a quick glare shut him up.

"Yes. I was born in Sina, and I lived there until the incident. I couldn't tell you what my parents did, it's been so long. All I know is that they both loved the thought of going outside the walls, and would continuously give donations to the Survey Corps to try and help them with supplies and expedition expenses. They also had many books about the outside world that they kept hidden under the floorboards, knowing they were taboo. They raised me off the stories. We were happy, living in a mansion in the woods, away from everything else. But one of the servants let my parent's passion slip, and the cultists in the walls caught wind of it. They didn't want anyone in the innermost walls getting any ideas, so they asked the Military Police to deal with it." I took a deep breath before I continued.

"So one night they came to the house. All the servants had gone home. They didn't live on the property, instead living in a housing building my parents owned closer to town so that they could get things for themselves easier, or things needed for the day before they came to work. So in the middle of the night, they took both my parents and myself, bound us, and brought us outside. When my father asked what was going on, he was beaten. Then, once he was broken and bleeding, one of the officers said that they had been asked to deal with him and my mother for having taboo books about the outside world." I shook a little, seeing out of the corner of my eye how Sasha was already very pale as she remembered what happened next.

"And then, they took my mother, and took turns raping her in front of my father and I. I was completely terrified, watching as my mother screamed and cried, begging them to stop, and watching my father cry as they forced us to watch. Once the last man was finished, they brought my father over to my mother and..." My voice hitched as tears went down my face. "They... they skinned them alive. Right in front of me. Afterwards they cut them up, put what was left of them in a pile, and set their remains on fire."

"Alice..." Jean said. I shook my head.

"I'm not done." I took another deep breath, before I continued once again.

"As the fire burned, the smell of blood and burning flesh thick in the air, one of the men turned to my crying form, smirking with an evil expression on his face. He said something about me being young, a child. How I wasn't old enough to be even close to hitting puberty. The other men with him turned to me with the same looks on their faces, saying that they should take me with them as a souvenir. And so they did." I shook slightly. "For four months, I was assaulted. I would pass out from the pain of one taking me, only to wake to the pain of another. They only fed me enough to keep me alive and from turning to bone. Only washed me when they were sick of feeling another man's saliva on my body or fluid inside me. I only fought back once." My eyes turned to Eren. "And they burned me with a cigar."

"How did this never come to court? How did they never get found out?" Ymir asked angrily.

"The murder of my parents? It did. But the men to investigate it were the same people who did it. It's easy to cover up when everyone involved is trying to 'find the killers'. And I was only saved on accident. The reason no one came to see what the screaming was about, was because they assumed it was just some whore the men had invited back." I wrapped my arms around myself. "One day, they were tired of the usual sex. Two of them wanted to have me from the same place, and so they were going to. But when the second man tried, I screamed. I was lucky that the Survey Corps was there on business, because one of the members heard my scream, and though they were told not too, opened the door and found me, one man already inside with another trying to force his way in too. They obviously stopped, and the person that found me shook with rage as they yelled for two others." Hange came over and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll take it from here honey." Hange said as they pulled me to their chest to cry. "I was the one that originally found Alice. I called for Erwin and Levi, and needless to say, Alice was taken away from them, and after looking at me with a soft smile and thank you, she passed out. A court case came and the men involved were only dishonorably discharged, and another trail would be held at a later date. After the first trial, Alice finally came to, screaming for her 'angel from the Survey Corps'. So I went to her and introduced myself, and I asked her what had happened. Her story condemned the men to be executed, for many more crimes than originally thought. When I tried to leave, Alice went into hysterics, begged me to stay with her, because she had no one else. So I adopted her as my little sister and sent her to some family in Wall Rose, but she frequently visited Headquarters." Hange took a deep breath as they teared up and held me closer, Erwin coming over as well.

"At first, we thought that seeing any males would set her off, but instead, she thrived, and didn't flinch away. When I had Hange ask why, Alice had said that it was the Wings of Freedom that saved her, and anyone who bore that emblem must be a good, safe person, even if they had a dark past. She said that it wasn't all men that hurt her, only unicorns. That's why she freezes up around the Military Police, and why she hates them so much. They were supposed to protect her and her family, but instead took everything away from her. Her family, her innocence, even her ability to have a family of her own."

"What?" Christa asked. Levi sighed.

"Those fuckers were so rough with her they damaged her reproductive tract enough that it would never be able to keep a child alive." And that brought a gut wrenching sob from me. I heard a chair move and someone stand.

"And she still feels their hands on her." Sasha said, voice wavering only slightly, but she sounded angry. "Still feels their mouths on her skin, feels them inside her, hears their voices, sees their faces. She doesn't have nightmares about Titans, she has nightmares about those men. When she cleans herself after remembering, she rubs her skin raw, sometimes breaking the skin. So Eren, are you fucking happy now? You know every detail about Alice's past." It was quiet then and I pulled myself away from Hange.

"I'm going to go now." I said softly, looking to Levi quickly to see him give a small nod, and I was headed to his room to bathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is Alice's tragic past. From here on, I'm hoping to make things little better, a little happier and stuff.


	22. Chapter 22

**Alice's POV**

I was sitting in Levi's bathtub, scrubbing my skin again. The bath water was already lightly tinted red, but I still felt dirty, absolutely filthy. A timid knock on the bathroom door pulled me from my washing only briefly. Hange just knocked once before walking in, Sasha knocked more surly since she's come to check on me in Levi's bath many times already, and she announced herself before coming in. It was someone new.

"Come in." I said. The door opened and there stood Eren.

"Corporal Levi told me to come check on you." I nodded as I turned back to my body.

"Alright. Hey, could you get my back?" Oh the lack of shame. I blame Hange for that. I noticed Eren's face flush, and I could faintly feel one on my face, but I didn't care.

"U-Um... sure." And I turned away, revealing my back, and handed Eren one of the scrubbers as I continued with my front. "Alice, you're bleeding!" Eren said, grabbing my arm and pulling it so he could properly see where the skin was broken.

"Yeah, I know. Were you not actually paying attention to everything said?" I asked. Eren looked me dead in the eyes.

"How could I not?" And in his eyes, I didn't see pity, but concern. "I can't say that I regret learning about what happened, so I won't apologize." I stopped scrubbing as harshly, paying more attention to the soft pressure Eren was using as he started to scrub my back. "I just wish you didn't have to feel like this. In a world with the Titans always looming over us, we shouldn't be turning on each other. The fact that any human would respond that way is disgusting. Fighting to survive is one thing, but hurting others for entertainment is sick."

"But now you understand why I believe that sometimes it's better not to fight back." It was quiet only a minute before Eren's movements slowed down a bit.

"Alice, I want to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"How can you love me after something like that?" I laughed bitterly.

"You mean after you being an ass about my past, or my actual past? Hange had said that I would open up to you at my own pace, or that I might not at all. I believed them, but I wasn't really going to tell you to stop being curious, because that'd be hypocritical of me. If you meant after the events of my past," I shrugged lightly. "I watched my parents when I was little, even if I don't really remember them. I saw the love they shared. For each other, their work, the Survey Corps cause, and the dream of leaving the walls forever. Then it was Hange's love for knowledge and experiments, which they rubbed off on me a bit. And I just always believed in it, but." I trailed off.

"But what?" Eren asked, done with my back and just interested in my answer to his question. I turned to look at him, our faces only inches apart.

"I never thought I could feel it myself. I never thought I'd be able to feel attracted to anyone, which is why when Hange said I was in love, I didn't believe it at first. But it also didn't take long to convince me, since I had seen others in love. But in my situation, it's different."

"How?" Eren asked quietly, not moving an inch from how close we were.

"Most people would have a fit if their loved one didn't return it, or fell for someone else. Would just give up. But for you, I never want to. I'm happy as long as you are. If that means you hate me and fall for someone else, so be it. I just want to see real joy in your eyes." Mine locked with the beautiful orbs I seriously loved. "I'm sure it would be a breathtaking sight to behold. Two gemstones glistening in the sun, just as warm as the sun's own light. I can almost picture it, but actually seeing it... it could rival my want to see the ocean." Eren said nothing, just stared at me. I couldn't help myself as I leaned forward more, eyes closing slowly as my lips touched Eren's.

A pleasant warmth flooded my veins, and the need to rub my skin off was completely gone. My senses filled with Eren, and nothing but him. It felt nice, good even. When I finally pulled back, I let out a deep sigh.

"Sorry about that." I said. "I took you by surprise." I opened my eyes to see that Eren's cheeks were only flushed slightly, and he just seemed slightly shocked. I could hear him swallow nervously.

"It's alright. Um, i-if you're alright, I need to head back to my room." I nodded and watched as Eren left, saluting Levi and Hange as he went. Levi just looked in the bathroom with an eyebrow arched slightly, as Hange had a bright smile on their face.

"So, what just happened to have our little Titan-shifter flushing like a bride on her wedding night?" Hange asked with a snicker. I blushed lightly.

"Maybe he finally saw his first pair of tits. I mean, Alice isn't really hiding them right now." Levi said. I looked down to see that yes, my breasts were showing. I blushed a little more and covered my face.

"Oh my Walls. I can't believe this." I muttered. Hange just cackled as they came in to help me rinse off and I cleaned Levi's bathroom before thanking him again and heading to my room with Sasha.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked once I came in, Connie sitting on her bed next to her. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm better. I talked with Eren a bit more."

"Wait, he came into the bathroom with you?" She asked, and Connie's eyes widened.

"Eren saw you naked? What the hell! Sasha and I have been dating way longer, and we haven't even gotten past making out." Connie said. I just smiled and giggled a little.

"Yeah well, it was only the upper half, and it wasn't until just before he left anyways. And it was an accident." I said, taking my boots off and putting my belts, jacket, and apron away. "But... it was nice. Being in a man's presence while being that vulnerable without having an attack. Levi used to be the only one that was able to see me like that." I said. Sasha smiled.

"I'm glad." She said. I turned to her with a gentle smile.

"Me too."


	23. Chapter 23

**Alice's POV**

Things surprisingly didn't change between my friends and I. Everything had gone back to normal. Well, almost. Eren was acting different again. He couldn't keep eye contact with me to save his life, and he'd fidget every time we were near each other. If our eyes met on accident, he'd quickly look away. It was odd, and felt like when he found out I loved him again, only slightly different.

"I'm sure it's nothing Alice." Sasha said one day.

"It doesn't make sense though. I mean, maybe he feels bad for pulling my past from me, but it's been two weeks." Sasha shrugged, biting off a piece of bread that I had helped her sneak from the kitchen.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it now. We have another expedition in a few days, and tomorrow we're having a day off." I sighed and nodded.

The entire day off, I didn't see hide nor hair of Eren. And the behavior continued up till the day of the expedition. Eren actually approached me while everyone was getting their horses ready, a determined look in his eye. Before I could even say anything, he had grabbed my collar and crashed his lips into mine. I was completely confused and shocked. When Eren pulled back, he looked me dead in the eye.

"You better come back." He growled, then went to get his horse. I just stood there for a second, blinking like an idiot, before what had just happened sunk it and a shit eating grin cracked my face.

"Holy shit." Connie said as he stood next to me.

"Well, that explains his behavior for the last few weeks." Sasha said with an even bigger smile. And with that, we headed out.

We made it out to the town we had hit in the previous expedition and found that it was not as bad as previous, just a quick clearing of about ten Titans, no Abnormals. With that, we met in what would have been the market place of the town.

"Our goal this time is to secure this town as a way point between Walls Rose and Maria." Erwin said loudly. "Then we will head back to Wall Rose and our next expedition will be too make another on the opposite side in case the Colossal Titan attacks again and takes away another one of our gates. The gate in Trost is well under way of being fixed, but the funds to the Survey Corps are being cut to help with the reconstruction of the Wall so the expedition to the other side won't be for an undetermined amount of months. Let's hurry with our simple fortifications and return." And so we set to work. It was nothing big, just netting set up at main roads. Smaller roads that Titans couldn't fit in were left alone. We would most likely come back later with something more stable, but for now, this is what we had.

Our next expedition would actually be to the Trost gate to help ward off Titans during the building process. At the moment, all work was done at night, and though Erwin says 'well under way' it's just the plans and measurements done. Rebuilding hasn't happened yet because it isn't safe to do at night, and it's suicide to do anything on the outer side, considering that Eren hasn't been able to go back and move the boulder for inner wall work.

Heading back to Rose was as easy as it was heading out to the town. We still lost many soldiers, but we had succeeded in what we needed to do. Once I had finished putting my horse away, I turned only to feel someone's arms around my waist and lips against mine. I blinked a few times before hearing someone whistle.

"Damn Yeager, I'd calm down before Squad Leader Hange or Corporal Levi caught you." It was Jean's voice, but I still heard a couple more cat calls, most likely Connie, Ymir, and Reiner. The lips that were on mine pulled back as Eren turned back to glare at Jean.

"Shut up Horseface. Shouldn't you already be in your stall?" Jean clicked his tongue, very similarly to a horse, but left. Eren turned back to me, hands finding my cheeks. "I'm glad you made it back without getting hurt this time." He said before kissing me again. I pulled away this time.

"W-What are you doing?" I asked. Eren blushed a little.

"Kissing you. What else?"

"Why?" Eren's blush deepened. "You had been avoiding me for the past two weeks."

"I needed time to sort out my thoughts." Eren said.

"Thoughts about what?"

"You." Eren said without hesitation. "I think... I've fallen for you." Eren said, rubbing his thumbs gently against my cheek bones. "Though I guess I've been too aggressive about things so far." I smiled as I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Wouldn't have you any other way." I said.

"I can't promise you too much in romance, this is my first time feeling anything like this."

"We're in the middle of a war. I don't expect too much. And I've never been in this situation before, and don't know what could trigger memories, so be patient with me." Eren smiled and nodded.

"Deal." And he leaned in and kissed me gently. I hummed happily, moving my hands to his shoulders.

"Hey!" Eren went to pull away, but I moved my hands to his jacket and pulled him closer, tilting my head slightly. "Break it the fuck up you two." I growled as I pulled back, turning to glare at Levi.

"The debrief isn't for another ten minutes." Levi crossed his arms briefly.

"If you want Ackerman to take your head for making out with Yeager in front of the stables, then go right a fucking head. But I thought I'd tell you to show some damn decency. Four eyes will flip their shit if they saw this and you know it." Levi had a point. I sighed as I turned back to Eren.

"Wanna go to the library until the debrief?" I asked. Eren just stared at Levi almost mortified for being caught kissing me. I rolled my eyes. "He's not going to kill you Eren, come on. He's not even all that scary." I gently pecked his cheek, bringing Eren back to reality before leading him to the library where we just sat on one of the old couches and enjoyed the others company. Just sitting there, holding hands, saying nothing. It was nice.

The debrief was quick and routine, telling us we had the rest of the day to destress before picking up usual activities the next day. It was just past lunch and I didn't know what to do with myself. Yeah, Eren and I had made a vague agreement to be a couple, but did I hang out with him now? Or did I hang out with my friends? How the fuck did Sasha do this? Ymir and Christa were never separated, but they were both also female and roommates.

"Alice?" Eren had approached me after everyone had left the room. "I have no idea what we do now." He admitted with an embarrassed chuckle. I giggled back.

 

"You think I do? I'm as new to this as you are." He nodded and it was at this time Sasha approached us, giggling as Connie hid the bread they had taken.

"Hey you two. What are your plans for the evening?" Sasha asked as she finished chewing what must have been one of the couple's stolen goods.

"No clue, we're new to this and have no damn idea what to do with ourselves." I answered. Connie sniggered.

"You go somewhere quiet and hang out alone, or hang out with your friends together. Nothing has to really change." Connie said as he wrapped an arm around Sasha's waist. "Sasha and I haven't really changed from our Trainee days except the guarded make outs in the broom closet and stolen kisses during training. We were close enough friends to do most things together anyways." Eren and I nodded slowly.

"I guess that could work for us, especially since I help Hange with their experiments on Eren." I said. Eren nodded a little. "But what do we do right now?"

"Hide." Jean said as he came back in the room. "Mikasa's flipping her shit right now because another soldier let it slip that he saw Eren kissing Alice, she's on her way here since Eren had told her and Armin to go ahead of him because he had to do something." I rolled my eyes, as did Eren.

"Can't wait till she finds out we're a couple." Eren said. I blushed when he admitted it, a small smile forming on my face. "Let's go Alice." Eren gently took my hand and lead me away from the castle, past the stables and to a familiar spot just inside the woods surrounding base.

"And we return." I said, watching Eren sit and lean against a tree. He sighed as he rubbed his temples. "What's wrong Eren?" He looked up at me with a tired smile.

"Just tired from the expedition and Mikasa's worrying." He said. I sat next to him with a smile.

"You wanna talk about it, or just sleep it off?" I asked. Eren just looked to me for a brief second.

"Kinda just wanna sleep it off." I smiled. Leaning my head away slightly and patting my shoulder.

"Come on then. You can lean against me. And if you'd rather, you can even use my lap. But... be careful how you position your head there." I said softly. Eren just laughed lightly.

"No worries." And he leaned against me, head on my shoulder. "This is surprisingly comfortable." Eren said with a small yawn. I nodded.

"It is." I said, leaning my head on his while gently petting his hair with the hand not occupied with Eren's own. I noticed Eren's breathing even out and his head get a little heavier on my shoulder. I smiled as I yawned a little, feeling my eyes drop a bit as I slowly slipped into unconsciousness as well.


	24. Chapter 24

**Alice's POV**

I would love to say I woke up peacefully next to Eren, still leaning against the tree or even laying on the ground cuddled together. Or to Eren gently waking me, or maybe me waking up before him and seeing what his sleeping face looked like. That, however, is not how I woke up.

"EREN!" Is what I woke up to. And Eren sat up straight, knocking me over the other way so I hit my head on a tree root that was poking out of the ground. It wasn't hard, but it still hurt, and definitely woke me up. I sat up, rubbing my head and looking around, only seeing trees, Eren, and part of the training field.

"Mikasa, maybe we should go look somewhere else." That was Armin's voice. Which meant Mikasa's the one that woke us up.

"Fucking hell." I groaned, looking over to Eren to see him pouting and glaring out in the direction the voices were coming from.

"No, Jean said that Eren and Zoe came this way, and a few other soldiers said they saw them going past the stables."

"Maybe Alice is letting Eren rant to her about the past expedition." Came Armin's voice.

"Like hell. Some other soldiers said they saw Zoe kissing Eren at the stables. And he definitely kissed her before the expedition. I want answers. Why the hell would Eren kiss Zoe? He can't like her." Mikasa said, but Armin didn't respond. "Do you think it's because he feels bad for her?" That thought didn't settle well in my stomach. I turned to Eren who looked borderline livid.

"Eren?" I asked.

"She is so full of it!" Eren growled.

"MIKASA!" Armin said, sounding very much scandalized. "Eren would never do that and you know that!"

"He's too nice Armin. And he had pushed her. Why else would he just suddenly kiss Zoe after not talking to her for two weeks." Mikasa said. "He can't think of anyway to fix it besides kissing her." There were two sets of groans, one from Eren, and one from Armin.

"No Mikasa." Armin said, probably shaking his head. "Eren really does have feelings for her, trust me. He's been doing nothing but talking to me about it for those two weeks."

"Talking about what?" Mikasa and I asked our respective males at the same time. Eren blushed, but Armin just seemed to sigh. They seemed to have gotten closer, because I could at least see the top of Mikasa's head through the bushes.

"Alice." Armin said. "He literally would not stop talking about her, making random observations, and freaking out. Eren asked what I thought about her fighting abilities or calculations on how to kill Titans better. He even asked me if the sun always made her eyes shine brighter. Trust me Mikasa, Eren really does have feelings for Alice, and it's not unhealthy either."

"I don't believe it." Mikasa said, her head moving as if shaking her head. "He can't randomly develop feelings for someone."

"Unless he's been in denial." Armin said. "Now let's go back to the castle. I don't want to disturb them."

"You go back. I want to have a talk with Eren." Mikasa said.

"Fuck off Ackerman." I called out, drawing their attention to where Eren and I were. "I was enjoying my fucking nap." I stood, revealing where I was, but Eren stayed sitting against the tree, a light blush on his face.

"Where's Eren, Zoe?" Mikasa asked.

"I don't think that question really needs to be answered." I said with a shrug. "Now, I don't know about you, but we will be diving head first back into training and everything tomorrow, and I would like to unwind. I suggest you do the same."

"I'm not going anywhere without Eren." Mikasa said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine, but give me a sec." I said, pulling Eren up to his feet. "I'll see you later Eren." And I kissed his cheek softly. "Behave alright?" Eren just pouted.

"You don't have to go you know." He said. I smiled.

"I don't get along with Ackerman, remember? I'd rather not start a fight right now. I'll see you at dinner." I turned to leave, but Eren pulled me back to give me a peck on the lips.

"See you at dinner." I smiled before turning and walking away.

And dinner was an very interesting endeavor to say the least. Eren sat next to me, which was of course expected, but new and unusual. And Mikasa sat on the other side of him, glaring daggers at me. No one really talked, which was usual for after a mission, but everyone did stare at our table. And since no one really talked, the whispers of those who did could easily be heard as their voices drifted in the hall.

Whispers on our relationship, and bad mouths towards Eren and I. Eren for being a Titan shifter and I for dating one. It was really ridiculous what was being said, but it still got to Eren. I put a hand on his shoulder, which calmed him, before I just stood and turned to the others.

"You know, you SUCK at whispering." I said, catching a few people off guard. "We can hear you almost perfectly. If you really don't want us to hear what you're saying, say it when we aren't around. If you don't care, just talk normally. Oh, and you." I pointed to one of the ones sitting at one of the farther tables. "I'm not dating a Titan, or attracted to Titans. This guy right here." I put a hand on Eren's head. "Is just as human as you and I. So if you want to talk shit." I smiled sweetly. "Be prepared to get hit." And not a second later, I had chucked an empty bowl across the room and got him square between the eyes before sitting back down.

"Was that really necessary?" Ymir asked. I looked to her and nodded.

"What would you do if they were shit talking you and Christa?" I asked. The look Ymir gave me was all the answer I needed.

"You can't throw shit at random, Alice." Levi said. "Especially at other Corps officers."

"So if he was a Unicorn...?" I asked, trailing off slightly.

"Blade or gun. Take your pick." I nodded and smiled.

"Got it!" I turned to Eren then and my smile softened. "You okay?"

"I should be standing up for you, not the other way around." He said. I just shook my head lightly.

"Fine then. Next time, you can throw the bowl." I said, and dinner continued without another incident.


	25. Chapter 25

**Alice's POV**

Everything continued as normal the weeks after. The only differences were that Eren, Connie, Sasha and I would spend a little more time together. We would sit in mine and Sasha's room and the four of us would just talk. Sometimes Ymir and Christa joined us, sometimes Jean and Armin. Sometimes Mikasa forced herself in and the air was tense and Mikasa and I did nothing but argue until she either left with Eren, or Eren told her off.

Experiments with Hange were also more interesting. They would continuously ask me if I wanted to back out of an experiment since Eren and I were in a relationship now, but I always told them no.

The other soldiers in the corps didn't say anything about Eren and I. So everything was borderline perfect. Besides Mikasa, but that's nothing new at this point. Eren and I were sparring when Levi came out of the castle, a slightly pissed look on his face.

"What is it Levi?" I asked, kicking Eren in the back of the knee and sending him to the ground, smiling as he glared at me slightly.

"Stand the fuck up Yeager. The swine are here." I froze slightly at Levi's words and Eren was quick to get up and try to comfort me, but Levi grab him by the back of his jacket and held him back. "We can't risk them having a fit that you're in a relationship. I'm sorry Alice, but you have to show your findings with Hange."

"Why can't Hange do it themself sir?" Eren asked. Levi sighed.

"Because Alice spoke up at your last trial, and she's helped collect data on you."

"But so haven't others! It's not fair to Ali-"

"I know that Yeager!" Levi said. "I'm not fucking pleased about it either, but I can't fucking do anything. I fucking tried already." I nodded.

"Alright." I said, Eren turned to me and stepped closer.

"Alice." I smiled.

"It's my duty. I have to do it, even if it makes me uncomfortable. Besides, Hange will be there with me! They'll help me out if I need it!" And so I went and found Hange, walking faster if I caught sight of the green unicorn emblem.

"Alice!" They cried when they saw me, hugging me quickly. "You ready to report our findings so far?" I nodded as we sat at the meeting table. Erwin, Levi, and Eren came in shortly after, and then the Military Police. Hange quickly put a hand on my thigh to calm me down a little.

"So what information do we have on the shifter now?" Nile asked. My eyes narrowed slightly. He has a fucking name you prick. Hange and I relayed our findings, and that seemed to satisfy them.

"How has he been with the other recruits?" Nile asked.

"Fine." Levi said, crossing his arms. "He trains with everyone and isn't a problem."

"We mean, has he shown interest in anyone?" Nile said. I felt my stomach turn and Eren's eyes narrowed.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Hange asked.

"Because the higher ups realize that he is a teenager, and since we don't know if he could actually reproduce, they want to make sure he can't force himself on anyone." I stood at this time, glaring at Nile with so much hate I hoped he could fucking taste it.

"I'm sorry. Are you actually suggesting he would rape someone?" I asked bitterly. "You do realize this is the Survey Corps, right? It's not our thing. That's your factions stick." I spqt out. Nile stood and glared at me.

"How dare you! The Military Police has never-"

"Thompson case." I said with a bitter smile. "Now what was that you were saying? I know it wasn't that the Military Police has never been involved in something so scandalous." Nile just stared at me. "Now, you can tell your higher ups that they have nothing to worry about. The only person Eren has shown any interest in, is unable to get pregnant, courtesy of your faction. So, if this is done, I have some things I need to do. Like actually find a solution to ending the Titans and not having someone wipe my ass for me."

"Alice." Erwin said, voice stern. "That is disorderly conduct. You can not speak to a superior officer that way. Apologize to Commander Nile, and then you are dismissed." I crossed my arms and gave him a 'seriously' look.

"If I say no, will I be court martialed?" I asked. Erwin didn't say anything, but Levi sighed.

"Erwin, you know you can't make her apologize to them." Levi said.

"What are you all talking about?" Nile asked. "What does the Thompson case have to do with anything we are discussing?" I turned to him.

"Well, you asked if Eren was interested in anyone. The answer is me." I said.

"So he does have the possibility to reproduce?" Nile asked. "We can't-"

"My birth name is Alice Thompson." I interrupted. Saying my old name felt like ripping my heart out and showing it to the world. I was surprised I could say it the first time. Nile's jaw dropped. I cocked my head and gave another bitter smile. "So, there are no problems. If there is nothing else to discuss, I would like to leave. I'm sure you can understand why I don't want to be near the Military Police for too long."

"Sorry to say, but me and a few of my men are staying for a few days to see the shifters progress." I froze and Eren looked at me with sad eyes. I turned to Erwin, and he sighed, giving me a nod that, yes, it was true. I felt sick, and in a few seconds after, I was hunched over a puddle of my own vomit, and Eren was right next to me, rubbing my back as Hange was on the other side, apologizing quietly. The Military Police left then, and Levi happily shut the door behind them, turning quick on Erwin.

"Well, what the fuck do we do now?" He said. "Alice won't last with those fuckers here."

"My hands are tied." Erwin said, dry rubbing his face. "I've been trying to find out a solution since I learned they were staying."

"She can stay with me-" Hange began, but Levi quickly shot them down.

"No. You sleep in your office, and they will be in there looking through your research. And they'll want Alice there to discuss her findings again as well. Nowhere is really safe for her to stay where those fuckers-"

"Sasha and her room." Eren said. "They have no business in our personal quarters. They'll want to check mine, but they won't have a reason to go into her's. We can have a few soldiers rotate between bringing her meals and doing her chores while she's in there. We could excuse her from training and explaining her findings to them by telling them she's fallen ill. Considering she just got sick in front of them, it wouldn't be too hard to convince them."

"That's pretty good Yeager." Levi said. "I see no problems with it, do you Erwin?" Erwin shook his head. "Hange?" They shook their head too. "Good. Bring Alice to her room then."

"B-But..." I tried, but stopped when Eren gently cupped my face, he had a smile on his face.

"You did your duty. And now you need to rest. I won't let those bastards touch you." I smiled lightly. "I'll clean up here, Hange-"

"I'll take her to Levi's room to clean up and then bring her to her room and inform Sasha on what's going on." They said. Eren nodded, kissing my forehead gently.

"I probably won't be able to come see you for a few days." I frowned at his words, but nodded.

"Fine." I relented and let Hange bring me to the bath, having them steer me clear of every MP on base at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened, but I'm rolling with it!!!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, we continue our fucked up story with another Rape Trigger Warning. Please remember that if it triggers you, do not read. Also, the act itself is not described, but the direct aftermath will be. You have been warned.

**Alice's POV**

It was awful just sitting in my room. I couldn't do much of anything. I went through the notes I had in my room, because I always make sure I have copies, and tried to look at them from different angles to try to figure anything else out. And I meant different angles. I would literally tilt the page, or change my position. I laid on my bed with my head hanging off once. When I wasn't doing that, I was cleaning what I could or doing physical muscle training and yoga. Sasha brought me my food and would tell me what had been happening. And everything was generally okay for a few days, minus my need for social interaction. A few hours a day with Sasha was not enough.

The social interaction I got a couple days later was not the kind I needed. I had been cleaning the room, when I heard my door open. I turned, confused since Sasha wasn't supposed to be bringing me my lunch for a few more hours. What I saw, was a Military Policemen. I froze. I didn't remember seeing him at the meeting. He smiled when he noticed I saw him.

"Hello, Cadet Zoe, am I correct?" He asked, taking a step forward as I stepped back. "I'm here on a request from one of the higher ups, not as high as Commander Nile, but pretty important. I'm sure you can understand that this is something I have to do." He pulled a small bag out of his back pocket that jingled slightly. "I'll give you everything in this bag, if you can give us any information that would say that the titan kid is unstable and needs to be taken out." I froze as I just stared at him. This man apparently wasn't updated on mine and Eren's relationship status. "I'd ask Squad Leader Zoe, but they won't take a bribe. I'm hoping you can understand." He jingled the bag again. I just slowly shook my head, making him cock an eyebrow.

"No? Cadet, this is a good sum of money you're turning down. A simple written statement saying that the titan shifter is unstable and this is yours." I shook my head again. The man's face changed then, from slight confusion to rage. "Listen here, I need to get this done, so you can either do it willingly, or I can force you to do it." I shook slightly, but shook my head once again. He growled, dropping the money and coming at me. I tried to dash around him, but he still got ahold of me. In the struggle to get him off me, we fell onto my bed, him pinning me down, and my entire body locked up as my mind went blank.

When I came too, the man was on the floor, holding his gut and Hange was next to me, careful not to touch me, worry clear in their eyes. Erwin and Nile were outside in the hallway, in a heated debate while Levi was glaring at the man on the floor.

"Alice... are you okay?" Hange asked carefully. I opened my mouth and found it was dry, that I was cold, and my legs hurt. When I looked down, I noticed I was naked, clothing torn off, and bruises on my legs in the shape of hands. When what had actually happened clicked in my head, I began breathing hard and crying, hyperventilation was next.

"Alice, Alice honey listen to me. His punishment is being determined as we speak, you don't have to testify if you don't want to, we can move you to a different room if you need to. Just breath for me." Hange said, but I couldn't hear them, I felt filthy, I felt violated.

"Where the fuck is she?" I heard after a few minutes. My mind wasn't sure what was going on, but the rest of me did.

"Eren!" I cried out, the first actual word I spoke since coming too. He was pushing past Nile and Erwin and was by my side in seconds, rage and worry flashing through his eyes. He looked like he wanted to touch me, hold me or my hands, but conflicted. He wasn't sure how to help, he'd never been in this situation before, wasn't sure how to make it better or worse. My body moved on it's own though, pulling him to me as I buried my face into his chest and wailed.

Eren was obviously confused, but slowly moved, like I was a frightened animal, which wasn't far from the truth. He wrapped his arms around me and made shushing noises saying 'I'm here now I'm here now. I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise’ and rocking me slightly. As I calmed down, his grip on me tightened. As soon as I had stopped crying Eren turned to Hange.

"What now?" He asked carefully, mindlessly rubbing my back, careful to avoid my lower half. Hange sighed as they stood, crossing their arms.

"I need to check her out, see what damage has been done. Then we wait, see what Alice wants to do. She'll be on medical leave for a while. She has a lot of healing to do, physically and mentally. I don't know how bad this will mess with her head." Hange said, gently petting my head. "I'll need to take a sample of the... fluids. After that we can clean her up." Eren nodded slowly before looking down at me.

"D-Do you think you can walk?" I shook my head as I felt the pain in my hips as I tried to move. Eren looked at me before sighing. "Hange, can you take care of her for a second, I need to do something." He turned back to me and gently grabbed my wrists. "I'm not leaving the room Alice, I'll be right back." I nodded as he went over to Sasha's bed, grabbed her blanket, and came back, handing it to Hange as he took his jacket off. He then looked at me again.

"Alice, is it okay if I..." He motioned to what was left of my clothes, afraid he might say something that would trigger another meltdown. I nodded again as Eren slowly began to remove what remained of my clothing before quickly wrapping me in Sasha's blanket and placing his jacket on my shoulders. "Can I carry you?" He asked again. I just nodded as Eren picked me up bridal style, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Come with me." Hange said, and they lead Eren and I to their office. They cleared off a table and had Eren place me there, telling him not to leave my side. As Hange did what they needed to, they asked what happened. I answered up to when I blanked out. Hange nodded then.

"Your mind shutdown to protect you, but the fear froze your body so it couldn't react to actually protect you." Hange sat back. "I can't really tell you the damage yet, we need to get you clean." Hange said, looking at me seriously. "Who do you want to help you bathe?" I clung to Eren and Hange sighed. "Alice, I don't think-"

"Not to bathe." I said, voice a little better since Hange had gotten me water. "Just there." Hange looked to Eren, face completely serious.

"Are you okay with that Eren? Alice may want you there, but what you want is important to, and there is a high possibility of seeing Alice's intimate parts in a less that ideal setting, in a less than ideal state." Eren looked between Hange and myself.

"You don't have to." I said, mind a little more my own. "I would just feel a little better if you were there." Eren gulped, then nodded.

"I-I'll go with you. I want to support you." Eren said, seemingly more to himself to reassure himself he would do this. Hange smiled lightly.

"Alright. Let's get you to Levi's bathroom." Once we had entered Levi's room, the shorter man was already there, bath ready and cloth in hand.

"So she invited you to come as well?" Levi asked Eren, before turning to me. "Hand her here." Levi said as he stepped forward, arms out. I was passed to Levi and clung to him. "I was really hoping I'd never need to do this again." He said as he brought me in and put me on the side of the bath. "Do you remember what to do?" I nodded slowly as Hange and Eren walked in, closing the door behind them. "If at any time you're uncomfortable-"

"State it." I said, taking a deep breath before spreading my legs, allowing Levi to clean me with the cloth. I saw Eren in the corner, blushing, but glaring at Levi at the same time.

"Why is the Corporal cleaning you Alice?" Eren asked, voice a little irritated. I swallowed briefly before speaking.

"He did so when I was little, the first time that happened. I would rub myself raw and bleeding, and Hange isn't the most gentle, and Erwin feels uncomfortable doing it, so Levi's the only option I really have left."

"So unless you want to be cleaning some sick fucks fluid out of your girlfriend's lady bits, shut the fuck up and let me work." Levi snapped, glaring as he worked. "That mother fucker's glad Erwin held me back, I was about to fucking kill him." Levi paused for a second. "Remind me to give your roommate extras at dinner tonight." I blinked down at Levi.

"Sasha? Why?" I asked. Hange smiled.

"She's the one that found you and ripped that asshole off you. She had kicked him in the groin a few times and was down right promising him death at the top of her lungs when Levi, Erwin, and I came to your room." Hange explained.

"Erwin went and got Dok, brought him and started yelling at him to learn to control his men, I had found the money on the floor with their factions insignia on it, and that started another discussion. Sasha didn't stay, said she had to go find Eren." Levi continued.

"Yeah, she was literally screaming, crying when she found me with Mikasa and Armin, telling me I had to hurry to your room because something awful had happened. Mikasa said that Erwin, Hange, and Levi should be enough to deal with it, then she punched Mikasa in the face, and then told me what had happened. I think they're still fighting." Their was a soft knock on the door after Eren finished speaking.

"Alice? It's Sasha, are you okay?"

"There's not enough room for a fifth person unless you're climbing in the fucking tub." Levi snapped.

"I will!" Hange said, taking their boots off, rolling up their pant legs, and climbing into the tub, standing happily as they invited Sasha in. Levi groaned.

"My fucking bathroom has become a damn brat center." He said as he finally leaned back. "I'm done. Switch places with foureyes so that we can finish washing you up."

"Alice..." Sasha asked gently as she watched me. She looked so upset. I gave her a smile.

"Thank you Sasha. For all you've done for me today." She smiled back as tears ran down her face, running towards me and hugging me, gently pushing Hange and Levi to the side.

"I will never let those fuckers touch you ever again." She cried, afterwards grabbing a cloth and washing my skin. "I'll kill them next time." She said firmly. Eren growled then.

"Not if I do first." He said firmly. I looked at him and smiled softly.

"Still don't know if you can shift because of rage, calm down a little."

"No!" He barked as Levi and Hange shuffled out of the bathroom, watching from the doorway as Eren came closer and kneeled next to me. "They fucking touched you! They had the nerve to enter your bedroom and try to bribe you, and when that didn't work, did this." Eren motioned to a bruise on my waist. He then grabbed my face, angry tears in his eyes. "No one should touch you like that. Ever. Not only that, but I broke my promise that I wouldn’t let them touch you." Eren shook a little as he continued to stare into my eyes.

"Eren." I said, about to move, but Eren did, pulling me into a kiss. It was hungry, but it didn't scare me. But I still gently pushed him back, and he did so, backing off completely before he looked at me with wide eyes, quickly burying his face in his hands.

"Oh my Walls, I can't believe I did that after what happened. Alice I-"

"Was acting in a possessive fit of rage." I said, still smiling softly. "I don't blame you, and you didn't upset me." I glared at the other three in the room. "I will repeat myself, he didn't upset me. I am fine, for the most part. Eren has every right to kiss me. Now let's finish cleaning me up and get me some food. I'm fucking starving and Hange still needs to check the damage." And so Sasha and Hange washed me up while Levi sassed Eren anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for how my Trigger Warning at the beginning was phrased. It's just, everything was so dark (on accident, there's something wrong with me I swear) and for some reason, I decided to phrase my warning like that. If it upset you, I would like to apologize. I'm not trying to make light of the situation that took place in this chapter. It's a horrible action that should never happen and those who force others to do things for their sick, twisted pleasure should be the people we're testing our experimental medical practices, medications, beauty produces, etc. So please understand where I stand on this matter, and that I am not trying to make light of it in any way, shape or form.


	27. Chapter 27

**Alice's POV**

After eating, I was back in Hange's room with Eren. Experiments on Eren were on hold until Hange had finished checking me out. I, personally, was sick of people being between my legs today and wanted them to hurry the fuck up so that I could get dressed properly and close them. Put today behind me for a bit. But I was stuck with my legs spread and Hange running physical damage control while Erwin continued to rip Nile and his officers a new one.

"Hange, I highly doubt these fuckers can cause any more damage." I said. I had calmed down from the initial shock, mind back to normal since I was surrounded by my REAL protectors. I tried to keep my mind from reminding me the assholes who hurt me were still on the premises, but besides that, I was more or less back to normal.

"Scar tissue, Alice. They could give you more scar tissue." Hange said as they continued their examination. I turned to Eren with a small smile.

"You know, you don't really need to stay with me. Levi's giving extra training, you still have stuff you’ll learn."

"So do you." Eren said back, gently laying a hand on my shoulder. "And like hell I'm leaving you alone." Eren's words had a possessive air. I smiled a little wider.

"Thank you." I said. Hange finally pulled back.

"You can close your legs now." They said. "You'll have a little pain walking for the rest of the day, maybe leading into tomorrow, but the pain shouldn't last too long. He didn't do much damage. If you still can't walk right by dinner tomorrow, tell me and I'll check again. If it continues after that, I'm going to have to get a real doctor in here." They said as they stood. "I would stick to skirts and loose pants, just to keep the area from being irritated." Hange then looked me in the eye. "How are you in the head kiddo?" I shrugged.

"I'm fine. Probably going to freeze when I see them, but that's nothing new." I said. Hange nodded. A knock on the door caught our attention.

"Who is it?" Hange asked.

"Erwin and Nile." Erwin's voice came through, irritation still lingering on the edges. "Do you still have Alice with you? We'd like to speak with you and her about her condition." Hange looked to me.

"You okay with that? Nile needs to hear the story from you." I clung to Eren and buried my face in his neck as my legs closed and I flinched at the pressure to my lower regions.

"Nile needs to remove everything he's wearing that visibly shows that emblem. Mentally, I know which faction he's too, but maybe not seeing the actual proof won't trigger me. And I refuse to actually look at him." I said to them. "And Eren fucking stays, if he wants."

"I'm not leaving you with them." Eren said as he held me gently. "I know you and Commander Erwin can take care of Alice, you've done it before, but..." Hange waved their hand dismissively.

"Nile has to take off his jacket, but you can enter." Erwin opened the door then, but all I could see was the skin on Eren's neck.

"What happened in there Alice?" Erwin asked gently. I retold what I remembered. "Hange, how's her condition?" And Hange relayed that information. "You see what your soldier's done, Nile! One of my soldiers is out for a day, or more and could possibly need advanced medical treatment. She can't even look at you in fear of being frozen in fear."

"If a soldier freezes do to fear they don't deserve to be one." Nile said, voice shaking slightly.

"Need I remind you what all of your soldiers did when the Female Titan appeared within Wall Sina?" Erwin said. I somehow managed to hold back a laugh, but Eren and Hange weren't as subtle. "Alice's fear of the Military Police is as strong as the rest of our fear of Titans. Every member of your faction still here will be escorted by at least two members of mine everywhere they go. Your men have no reason to be in the resting quarters." Nile said nothing as he waited to leave.

"Eren." Hange said. "Bring Alice to her room, it's been thoroughly cleaned by Levi. See how she reacts, if it's negative, bring her to Levi's room. No matter what though." Hange pulled Eren from me slightly so she could grab the front of his shirt and pull him closer. "Do not leave her unless Erwin, Levi, or I say so. Am I understood?" Eren nodded quickly and Hange and Erwin left the room.

"You ready to go?" Eren asked. I nodded and he helped me stand. I had proven that I could walk, but it was with a slight limp, and it pissed me off. So to my room I went. When we entered, it looked like no one had been in there, ever. Like I'm sure Sasha's going to die when she realizes Levi's cleared out her food stash. But I was still calm, went and sat on my bed, Eren close next to me.

"So... today sucks." I said, staring at the wall above Sasha's bed. I let out a deep sigh as I readjusted my posture a few times before leaning against Eren. "Thank you, by the way."

"It's no trouble." Eren said, resting his head on mine carefully, like I could break any second. "I just wish it never happened."

"Welcome to my world." I said with a humorless huff. "And you don't have to coddle me and treat me like glass, Eren. I don't actually remember what happened. Just falling on the bed and waking up with Hange next to me." I took a deep breath. "And I've been coping with this shit for a majority of my life."

"You shouldn't have had to though." Eren said firmly, obviously pissed off. I hummed.

"We live in a messed up world. Those who are considered our best are inside with their thumbs up their ass or making life worse for those they have sworn to protect, our walls are literally crumbling, and we're being attacked by giant naked humanoid beasts that eat us because it's fun. Man is killing each other when there are technically so few of us left. People are left to die everyday on streets because they have no home." I take a deep breath. "But it's life. And maybe it'll be worth it some day. I still have hope for our pathetic existence." I smiled wide. "It'll all be worth it if I can see the ocean at least once before I die." Eren froze slightly, before almost completely relaxing.

"Yeah, it will be. Damn, when was the last time I've thought of the ocean?" Eren asked with a chuckle. I smiled.

"I don't know, but I think of it every day." I turn my head towards Eren more. "I think, if it had a color, it may just be your eyes." I said, causing Eren to blush a nice shade of red.

"What are you talking about?" Eren looked away, embarrassed, causing me to giggle.

"It's true. I keep comparing them to jewels, but... it sort of reminds me of the water in a clear pond or lake, but not quite. Those bodies of water are missing something that are it your eyes." I sat up and turned Eren's head towards me. "And I look forward to see you happy. I can only imagine that happiness in your eyes would be like the sun reflecting off the ocean on a clear day." Eren continued to blush and tried to look away.

"What about your eyes?" Eren asked. I laughed. "No, really." Eren grabbed my face, gently and with a feather light touch. "Even after something so terrible has happened to you, they still have this shine to them. They're almost like a... not quite copper, or honey, but something just a sweet maybe. Always filled with this shine, curiosity or determination. Sometimes rage, but I don't think I've seen them dull... until today." I saw Eren's eyes light with anger as he shook slightly. "I never want to see them like that again." He pulled me closer, tucking my head into his shoulder. "I will fight to keep that light in your eyes. I promise Alice." I smiled as I wrapped my arms around Eren, hugging him close and just taking in his scent. I'm calmed relatively quickly by it.

"Thank you Eren. That... it really means a lot to hear you say that." The door opened and I froze, clinging to Eren and shaking until I heard a familiar voice.

"Damn it Mikasa! You have to knock!" Sasha yelled as she came in with the rest of the gang. "You can't just waltz in here anymore, any of you." Sasha sighed as she kneeled next to my bed. "Sorry Alice, are you okay?" She asked, hand slightly raised, like she wantrf to comfort me through touch, but knowing slightly better.

"She's still naked!" Mikasa said, and I could feel her glaring.

"Sorry Ackerman, but I wasn't expecting any more company today!" I bit out as I pulled away from Eren.

"Eren's in here with you! You should-"

"He saw me naked before we even hooked up. This is nothing new." I crawled off the bed, causing all boys to look away, Ymir shielding Christa's eyes. I put on a skirt and loose blouse before sitting back down next to Eren. "Fucking happy now? I've got some fucking clothes on." Everyone then filed into the room. "Aren't you guys supposed to be training with Levi?" I asked.

"I couldn't." Sasha said. "I needed to know you were okay. Corporal Levi said it was fine and that if Nile had a problem with it, he could shove it." Mikasa came to sit next to Eren on my bed and I literally growled.

"Not today Ackerman. Invitation only. And I didn't fucking give you one." I pointed to Sasha's bed. "I am NOT dealing with your shit today too."

"I can sit next to my brother." She said, sitting next to Eren and I glared at her.

"I really fucking hate you. So damn much."

"Right back at you." Armin sighed as he sat on the floor, as did Connie and Jean, the other four sat on Sasha's bed. Eren groaned.

"Really Mikasa? Why?"

"I needed to make sure you were okay." She said.

"What would you need to check on? I'm perfectly fine." She looked at him.

"You just spent a majority of the day with Hange and Alice, I don't know what they could have tried to-"

"Are you serious!" I screeched as I sat up and looked at her. "You think we were EXPERIMENTING ON HIM!" Mikasa didn't give me anything. I just continued to stare at her. "Really? Fucking really?" I gave a bitter laugh. "News flash Ackerman, I WAS JUST FUCKING RAPED!" The room went ice cold and silent. "In this bed mind you. Eren spent that time with me because I needed some fucking support." I shook my head. "But whatever. You need to mother hen him, take him and go." Eren turned to protest but I didn't look at him, instead turning away. "Don't make a bigger scene babe. I'll talk to Hange about it. Just go. Everyone, please. I just want to be alone." And Mikasa literally dragged Eren out, everyone leaving except Sasha.

"I'm not leaving you." She said, gently sitting on the bed and pulling me into her, pillowing my head on her breasts. "I can't believe Mikasa would think that though." She said harshly. I just shrugged.

"Whatever. Shit's about to go down though. Hange had ordered Eren to not leave my side." I said. Sasha pulled me back and looked at me with a slightly shocked expression.

"Then why did you-"

"Ackerman wouldn't have left." I said as tears started down my face. "Not unless Eren told her to, by yelling at her and making her cry. I may hate her guts, but she's Eren's family. I won't break that." Sasha just nodded as she hugged me. Not even a minute later, the door opened to reveal Hange.

"How's she doing Eren?" They asked before looking up and seeing no Eren, but Sasha. I saw the anger already settling in their eyes. "Where's Eren?"

"With Ackerman." I answered, trying not to choke on a sob. "She thought the entire time he was with us, we were experimenting on him." The disgusted look on Hange's face answered it all. "And she wouldn't have left without Eren or crying, so I sent Eren with her. She dragged him out. I don't know where they are right now." I said with a shrug. I heard Hange's clipboard crack as their grip tightened.

"Thank you for staying with her Sasha." Hange said. "I'll do what I came to do, and I will be having a discussion with Mikasa and Erwin about this." Hange did their thing and a quick psyche check, finding that I would most likely be fine sleeping in my bed, and giving Sasha instructions on what to do if I started to have a meltdown, and then exited the room, asking the first person to pass her where Mikasa was, and heading in that direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I don't know what happened. I just... sometimes want to hate on Mikasa SO MUCH! Like, obviously I have cranked her protectiveness to INSANE proportions, and made her the bitch of all bitches, but I needed someone to hate on, and sometimes I like hating on canon characters. So Mikasa became my focus because she is not my fav. It's how things happened and I apologize to all of my Mikasa fans. Things with Mikasa will never be fixed. It will get worse. I also want to say I have one more 'arc' in this fic, so we SHOULD be done soon. But that means NOTHING!....


	28. Chapter 28

**Alice's POV**

When Nile finally left, Hange and Erwin went with him for the trial on the man that had attacked me. I would not be needed, having given all my statements and samples and so on. The man was pretty much damned. Levi was put in charge of the base until Erwin returned. Experiments were put on hold, and training was NUTS. I was lucky to be included, but I was tired and sore afterwards, as was everyone. We almost literally sweat buckets, and then cleaned ourselves and the castle until the fucking thing sparkled.

I was okay, nightmares as usual, only with a new face, but nothing new there. What was new, was the actual dreams. Eren and I, laying in what my mind thought a beach by the ocean would look like, bare bodies pressed together in throes of passion that would make any normal person's toes curl. Our clothes and capes laying by us and gentle touches. It was so weird to me, and when I woke up, I for once wasn't in a cold sweat, but I was a little sweaty. I, for a moment, thought I had wet the bed, nothing new there either, but when I found out what was really up, I went straight to the showers to clean myself and try to let everything soak in.

I had had my first wet dream, ever. I may be stupid to romantic love, but that is a pretty BIG indication to wanting more, right? I stayed under the stream of the shower. It's been a week since the incident with the MP, but that can't mean anything. I wouldn't conclude anything yet, though. It may just be a one time thing, maybe my hormones were fucking with my subconscious. That could be a thing.

It wasn't a thing, I found out. I had more dreams like that. Some I remembered when I woke up and had me blushing, other's I couldn't, but still woke up soaked. And sometimes Sasha would wake me, saying I was moaning in my sleep, thinking I was having one of my more vivid nightmares, which were actually just extremely vivid dreams of Eren and I.

I wasn't embarrassed by this. It was normal for teenagers, and apparently I was a late bloomer. But it was weird for me. I never thought I would want something like sex with Eren. But the more I thought about it, the more my mind and body agreed that it would be fantastic. It didn't even scare me, which was even weirder. So I just accepted the fact my body was ready to continue my relationship with Eren into more intimate grounds. And so I decided to try.

I would try to get Eren into a dominant position when we'd kiss, but he'd pull away quickly after pinning me anywheres, or his hands got too close to one of my more intimate places. Or if mine did. He would apologize too! Thinking he was giving off vibes that made me feel pressured. I had straddled him once, and he fucking froze before gently pushing me off and leaving. Could I just say it? Well, yes and no. I could definitely say 'Eren, I want to have sex with you, take me now.' but with my circumstances and experiences... it wouldn't go over well.

So I decided I would ask for advice. I didn't know the other members well enough to actually ask them. Yes, I knew them, and viewed them as family, but you do NOT just ask anyone for this kind of advice. So someone close to me would have to do. I would not be asking Levi, because he may assume Eren said something. Hange and Erwin would have a similar response and I know it. I obviously couldn't ask Eren. Mikasa was out of the question, probably assuming this was the end goal the entire time. I wasn't that close to Bert and Reiner, and was pretty sure they were with each other, and that advice wouldn't help me. That also meant Ymir and Christa were out too. I don't think Sasha and Connie have even made it that far yet, so... Jean was my only option left... this was going to be fun.

I asked Jean to meet me behind the stables to talk about something important. He showed up and leaned against the building.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Jean asked.

"Sex." I said. Jean turned so red, it was quite amusing actually.

"W-W-What? Why-"

"I am 99% sure I want to have sex with Eren." I said. "I've started having wet dreams about him, and my body has been reacting to him. And I've tried to initiate it, but everytime I get into any sexual position, he apologizes for whatever he's done to pressure me and then fucking leaves." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"And you're telling me all of this because?" Jean asked, still blushing.

"I need advice." I said, falling to my knees on the ground. "You're the only friend I have that I could ask!"

"What about Connie and Sasha? Ymir? Christa?"

"Haven't made it that far and I don't think our lovely lesbian friends could tell me how to take a cock." Jean groaned as he covered his face.

"Dear Maria, did you ask Armin?" I blinked a few times.

"Never thought of that. But I already have you here and I know you have experience!" I said, grabbing onto Jean's shin. "I'm begging you Jean, help me!" Jean sighed as he ran a hand down his face.

"You really want to sleep with Eren, don't you?" I pulled back and started to play with the dirt at my feet. Levi would kill me later, but this is important to me.

"I just... I want to know what it's like when I want it." I said. "And I just... I really do love Eren. And I wouldn't want to do this if... If I didn't feel like I could handle it. Thinking about it with Eren doesn't scare me. It makes me happy. You don't understand what that's like for me. The thought of a man being inside of me has traumatized me for years. And for the first time in my life, the thought of letting a male have his way with me actually excites me. I've been dealing with this want for a month or so now. I wanted to know that I wasn't just over hormonal from the attack on me recently. That it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. And now... I just... I feel like I can give that last bit of myself to Eren." I smiled up to Jean, who sighed and sat next to me.

"Fine, I sort of get it. Just ask me something and I'll answer." I smiled wide.

"Thank you Jean!" And so the questions began.

By the time we finished, Jean was so red I actually laughed at him, and I had a general idea on how everything was supposed to go. I needed to talk to Eren about it, see what he thinks. I should have known that he would NEVER just have me without knowing I wanted him to. I couldn't be subtle, but being as brash as he usually is would shock him to much. So I planed to talk to Eren about it the next time we hung out, giving me the night to sort of get everything I needed to say in order.

Life doesn't work that way though. Ever. Because at dinner, while I was happily discussing new 3D maneuvers with Armin that I had thought up, Mikasa sat at the table and spoke.

"Eren, are you aware Alice is having sex with Jean?" The entire room was quiet as Eren, Jean and I just stared at her. I was lucky enough to be able to speak first.

"What the ever living fuck are you talking about?" I asked, obviously pissed and confused.

"I overheard you talking to Jean behind the stables, about sex." She said, glaring at me with white hot daggers. I groaned as Jean sighed.

"She wasn't asking FOR sex." Jean said, calming slightly. "She wanted advice."

"Why would Alice come to you for advice?" Eren asked, tone not only angry, but hurt.

"Because she didn't think about asking Armin for sex advice, and out of all our friends, I was apparently the only one she could get the information from." Jean explained. "Trust me Yeager, I'm not touching your girl."

"Why would she need sex advice?" Mikasa asked and I glared.

"If you're implying what I think you're implying, I wanted CONSENSUAL sex advice, you fucking bitch."

"Actually, Zoe, I was wondering why you would be asking at all." Mikasa snapped. I sighed as I blushed lightly.

"Why the hell would anyone ask for sex advice?" I asked. "Because someone needs help with their sex life. I happen to have Hange's elegance at trying to get a healthy one started up. Now that this has been stated, I'm fucking leaving. Ackerman, next time you eavesdrop on one of my conversations, make sure you have the fucking facts straight first. You're going to ruin my relationship." And I just left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this shit is weird and probably nowhere near actually probable in any sense of life, maybe it is, I don't know. All I know is I am ROLLING WITH IT!


	29. Chapter 29

**Alice's POV**

I was only halfway down the hall when I heard footsteps.

"Alice." I turned to see Eren, blush across his face as he caught up to me. "Wh-What was that about in the mess hall?" He asked. I sighed as I leaned against the wall.

"I was hoping we could have waited until tomorrow, but of course not." I turned to Eren with a small smile. "I... want to have sex... with you." Eren's blush deepened. "I know, it's weird, but... I just keep having these dreams about you, and the more I think about you... inside me... the less scary it all seems." I turned away, looking at my boots. "And that’s why I talked to Jean. I wanted to know how to properly instigate it." I looked back to Eren. "But I need to know what you want. This can't be one way, or else I'm no better than the men that hurt me."

"I.. uh..." Eren didn't really speak for a few minutes. He'd try to start, but would stop speaking to fumble. He looked so confused and lost, and to be honest, I was losing my fucking patience and Mikasa hadn't help.

"Eren." That seemed to snap him out of his stupor. "Do you want to have sex with me? Yes or no?" When he didn't answer, I sighed and pushed off the wall. "You don't have to answer me now. But this is an important point in our relationship, because we need to set up new boundaries either way." And I left Eren there, blushing and stuttering and I couldn't help but find it kind of cute.

Eren didn't talk to me for a month. That's a lie. He talked to me, but if I brought up sex, he would bail immediately. And he would not be alone around me. And he wouldn't kiss me on the lips. It was all cheek and forehead. I didn't hate it, but I felt bad. Obviously bringing the topic up how it happened was to much shock, and he obviously wasn't handling it well.

But I was tired of waiting. When I talked to Hange about it, they said they were surprised I hadn't come to talk to them about it sooner. And finally, I just let my patience go and talked to Hange, Erwin, Levi, and Jean. After I had finished speaking with them, I put my little plan into action.

I was walking down a hall when I saw Eren, who was talking with Mikasa. This was going to be fun.

"Hey Eren." I said. He turned to me with a nervous smile, looking like he was about to respond, when he stopped. And I knew why. I usually smiled when I saw him, or showed emotion. But I decided to take a page out of Levi's book and went blank. I walked right up to Eren and placed a button in his hand.

"If you want to have sex with me, ask Erwin if Hange can lock you up three nights from now, give them this button, and listen to their instructions. If not, give this button to Levi immediately." And I continued down the hall. This would force Eren to answer. I wasn't really happy about that, but my dreams weren't doing it for me anymore, and I won't dare touch myself. If Eren denies me, then fine, I will find a way through this which keeps me faithful and keeps us together, if he accepts it, then we'll figure things out from there. But I couldn't wait anymore.

Later that day, Erwin came and talked to me.

"Eren requested Hange to lock him up three days from now." He said, but he looked concerned. "Are you sure about this Alice? That you want to become that intimate with anyone?" I smiled.

"I've been thinking this over for about three months, Erwin. If things go south, we'll figure things out together. Now if you don't mind, I have some things to get ready.” And I went on my way.

**Eren's POV**

I was in the shower before going down to my cell for the night. Tonight was the night Alice had told me to give Hange the button. I wasn't completely sure why, but I could only imagine that special steps needed to be taken since I was a Titan shifter.

I was completely blind sided when Alice asked if I wanted to have sex with her. The answer... was yes. I have been dreaming about being that intimate with Alice since the week before that bastard had touched her. But I had resigned myself to the fact she would never want that, obviously I was wrong. And the reason I was avoiding those situations with her was because I was scared I wouldn't be able to control myself and would force myself onto her. I couldn't do that to Alice. I love her too much, and she has been hurt too much. And tonight, I was going to try and show her how loved she was.

I had turned to Armin for advice. He blushed the entire time, and I blushed as well, but he gave me tips and pointers and what to watch for in case Alice became triggered during anything. I was ready for this, I was ready for Alice. I can only hope this goes well.

As soon as Hange had me in my cell, I handed them the button. They looked at it for a minute and sighed.

"If you hurt her, I'll kill you." They said, completely serious, before giving a small smile. "Head to Levi's room in an hour, he'll tell you where she is." And they left without locking the cell. I swallowed deeply. Time to get this started.

I headed to Corporal Levi's room an hour later. It was past lights out and the moon was already in the sky. As soon as my fist made contact with the wood of the door to knock, Corporal Levi had it open. He glared at me for a minute before speaking.

"I hope you know that you'll be cleaning your jizz out of her yourself. Go to the west corridor on this floor, closest to the southwestern staircase." And Corporal Levi shut the door in my face. I gave a shaky sigh as I headed to the room. My heart was racing. When I knocked on the door to the room Corporal had directed me too, I was less than happy to see Jean of all people.

"What the he-"

"She wanted to know you were serious." Jean said with a shrug. "And she's Hange's sibling, can you blame her for sending you on a wild goose chase around the castle? She’s upstairs in the eastern corridor, room closest to the northeast stairs. It an empty store room and the bedroom below is empty too, be as loud as you want but try not to wake us all up." And Jean shut the door. I took a deep breath before going up the stairs.

**Alice's POV**

I was nervous. So nervous. But can anyone blame me? I've never actually planned on having a man inside me. I was nervous, but I wasn't scared, and I was ready. I had showered thoroughly, and I had everything Eren and I may need. Water to drink, a water basin and towels to bathe, blankets and pillows as well. The only thing missing was a bed. It had been moved so that Eren actually had a bed in the basement.

But I wasn't just nervous about what was about to happen, but to Eren's reaction to me. I was already bare and under a sheet, sitting up and holding it over my chest. I was feeling insecure. I was so damaged down there, with scar tissue. My mind kept wondering what he'd think when he saw how damaged I really was. Most people want a virgin to sleep with their first time, or someone with actual experience. I was neither. And I was terrified of how Eren might react.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Alice?" It was Eren's voice. I took a deep breath.

"Come in." I said. The door opened and Eren looked around the room a bit before his eyes settled on me.

"A-Alice?" I nodded with a shy smile.

"Hey Eren." I said. He walked in enough to close the door behind him. "I hope I got everything we'd need." Eren approached me slowly, sitting on the blankets I had laid out on the floor. Not too close to me, though.

"So... what now?" Eren asked, face red. I shrugged.

"Well... I'm already naked, I think it's only fair if you are too." Eren gave a single nod and began to slowly take his clothes off, like he was worried any quick movements would scare me. Once he was done, he returned to the blankets.

"May I?" He asked, looking to the sheet I was still holding over myself. It was a silly thing, considering he has already seen me naked, but this was different, for obvious reasons. I nodded and Eren slowly removed the sheet. "You're beautiful Alice."

"You're pretty handsome yourself." I said, feeling myself flush as I examined Eren's body. I didn't stop staring until Eren shifted.

"May I kiss you?" He asked. I blinked owlishly for a moment before nodding. The kiss was gentle, and sweet. But I wanted more. And I voiced this need.

"More." Another kiss, lasting slightly longer than the first, but not as gentle. "More." And another, not as gentle and beginning to show the desire deep within. "More." And this continued until Eren slid his tongue into my mouth, gently pushing me onto my back. I gasped as I felt his body press against mine, Eren also gasping at the feeling. We laid there for a moment until Eren spoke again.

"I... I really do want to have sex with you Alice. I just never thought you would." He admitted, moving slowly as he kissed my neck.

"Not the only one." I said with a gasp. Eren hovered over me, making sure I was looking at him.

"If you ever feel uncomfortable, tell me." I nodded, and never spoke as Eren took me on those blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had been debating actually writing out the smut between Alice and Eren, but had decided against it. Next chapter is last chapter. I don't really have anything else in mind for this story, so... it's done. Sorry if it wasn't what any of you wanted, but it's exactly how I wanted it.


	30. Chapter 30

**Alice's POV**

The smile that split my face could not be described as a happy squeal left my throat and I ran forward, giggling like a crazy person.

It's been three years since I had become a member of the Survey Corps. Not only have we taken back Wall Maria, but we had finally defeated the Titans. We were currently surveying the land outside the walls, looking for places new to settle and so forth. But one specialized group was in charge of looking for something else entirely. And that was what I was currently staring at, hoping foot to foot.

The ocean. We made it.

"Eren! Armin!" I yelled. "Come on!" I turned to see the two still standing back in the grassier patch before it transitioned to the sand that made the beach I was running around, my gear next to them as I twirled in the sand, watching my foot prints. I turned back to look at the water, taking a deep breath of the air the wind carried to me. It smelled like salt, like the books said.

I finally couldn't wait anymore and quickly began stripping.

"Alice! What the fuck are you doing?" Levi yelled from where he was standing by Eren and Armin, with the rest of the group, being Hange, Molbit, Sasha, Connie, Jean, and Mikasa. Molbit was drawing the ocean as Hange was blabbing about it and the other's just stared.

"I'm going in!" I yelled back, dropping my pants and shirt, leaving my underwear and military issue bra on before running into the water, stumbling a bit as I slipped on the sand. I squealed once the cold water hit my legs. But that couldn't stop me as I went in to my knees, watching the water as it was clear enough to see the sand clearly at my feet and out a great amount. It was amazing. I saw a few fish out past where my feet would touch in a colorful rocky area. I kept trying to remember what it was referred to in my books.

"Armin! Eren! I think I see a coral reef!" I yelled back. They seemed to hear that and the smiles on their faces were about as wide as mine as they took off their gear and came forward, only Eren joining me with stripping to his underwear to come into the water with me. Armin just rolled his pant legs up and came in. I pointed it out and the absolute joy on both their faces was incredible.

I went out to my waist and spun, feeling the water against my skin. I dunked my head under the water, letting it caress me but not removing my feet from the sand under me. I opened my mouth, allowing the water to flow in, but not swallowing, before coming back up and spitting it out in an arch.

"It even tastes like salt!" I called back to the worried looks.

"YOU PUT THAT SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH?" Levi yelled. I just smiled as Armin shook his head and Eren came over, hugging me.

"Eren?" I asked, cocking my head slightly.

"Don't do that without warning. I didn't see you go under and started to freak out." He said. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm sorry Eren. I'll try to remember that next time." He pulled back and smiled, and my breath caught in my throat. I turned back to watch the ocean sparkle in the sun's light, before turning back to Eren and smiling wide.

"What?" He asked, and I felt my cheeks begin to hurt with how wide my smile was.

"I was right. Your eyes are the color of the ocean." Eren didn't say anything. Just shook his head slightly. A splash came from behind us, covering us both with water. When we turned, it was to see that Sasha and Connie had come to join us, both in their underwear and splashing each other, one of them failing with their aim and getting Eren and I.

"Sorry!" Sasha said with a smile. I smiled back.

"No problem." And I splashed her back. Soon, Connie, Sasha, Armin, Eren and I were all splashing each other until Levi said that we had to finish setting up camp. Connie, Sasha, and Armin retreated immediately, but I caught Eren.

"We'll be there in a sec Levi. There's something I still need to do!" I called. Levi just walked away, deciding there really was no point in even attempting to argue with me. Once no one was standing in the grassy area and had moved further into the grassy plain, I turned back to Eren, both of us standing in only knee deep water.

"What is it Alice?" Eren asked gently. I smiled softly.

"I know we don't talk about it much, or do it as frequently as other couples, but... my first dream of us in a sexual light was us making love on a beach." I said with a dark blush. And what I said was true, not just the dream, but Eren and I really didn't have sex that often. Not just because of the Titans and the difficulty of finding a place for us where we weren't being constantly supervised, but because we didn't want to. We enjoyed it, no doubt, but sometimes it was too much for me and we had to stop for me to calm down. Eren had felt awful at first, and he still does when I freeze up or start having a panic attack or whatever, but we've learned to work with our past traumas.

"Mine was too." Eren said, replying to my previous statement. I smiled as I pulled him a little closer.

"It's been three months, do you want to give it a go? Maybe a little later?" I asked. Eren pulled me into him, burying his nose in my hair.

"Maybe, if you're okay with it." I nodded with a happy hum as Eren then just picked me up bridal style. I huffed slightly as I leaned against his sculpted chest.

"Why did you have to grow so much?" I asked, poking his cheek. Eren chuckled.

"I can't help it." He said, pulling me closer. "But you can't tell me you hate having to stretch up a bit to kiss me now." Eren said as he leaned towards me a bit. I nodded slowly.

"True. And since you filled out more, you can carry me easier. Now, let's go help set up camp. We can scar them later when we go at it on the beach." Eren laughed again and rolled his eyes again.

"That's only if you're really up to it." Eren pushed his face into my neck. "I would be fine if we just cuddled on the beach." He said. I smiled.

"Naked cuddling?" Eren huffed a laugh.

"Sure, why the hell not."

"Yay! Cuddling is better than sex most of the time." I said, jumping out of Eren's arms and turning to him, before freezing. I didn't realize how late it had gotten, and the sun was beginning to set.

"Alice?" Eren asked, before turning to see how the setting sun's ray played off the water and the sea reflected the colors in the sky. We stood next to each other, watching the sun set over the water.

"Eren." I said quietly. Eren turned to me and I kissed him. This was probably the most romantic thing I have ever experienced, and when we pulled back, the sun was under the horizon. Eren was smiling at me fondly.

"You're beautiful." Eren said, brushing some of my wet bangs behind my ear and kissing my forehead. I smiled.

"Hey Eren? If I find a pearl tomorrow, will you marry me?" Eren froze at my words before smiling and giving me a genuine laugh.

"Of course Alice. I'd marry you if you couldn't." I smiled wide as I kissed him and turned to the camp, running happily.

"Hange! Levi! He said yes!" I stopped as I turned back to Eren with one of the biggest smiles I could as Eren was picking up the clothes we had left on the beach. When he caught up to me, we headed back to the camp, where I happily leaned against Eren by the fire to warm up. I was so happy, nothing could ruin this, not even Mikasa's glare.

_**The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a happy ocean ending to end this little.... whatever you want to call it. I wanted to write something really dark, and that is how this was born, but I couldn't keep it like that at all times, and I thought having it end with Armin, Eren, and Alice all seeing the ocean would be PERFECT!!! So here it is! I hope you all enjoyed the story my sweets!
> 
> Edit 4/26/2019: Hey! You 18+? Wanna join a fun discord server? Come join me in the [Horny Girls Guild(18+)](https://discord.gg/dAvF7dm). Despite the name, all genders are welcome! Just click the link to come and join!


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